


lost things

by Flowergoddessbrittany



Series: mischief and affliction [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asgard (Marvel), Books, Character Death, Developing Relationship, Earth, Established Relationship, F/M, Fake Character Death, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, God of Mischief, God of Thunder - Freeform, Healing, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki Posing as Odin, Lost Love, Love Confessions, Madness, Magic, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Marvel Universe, Memories, Miðgarðr | Midgard, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Pain, Past Relationship(s), Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Doctor Strange (2016), Post-Thor (2011), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pre-Avengers (2012), Pre-Thor (2011), Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Thor: The Dark World, Ragnarok, Reality, Recovered Memories, Sorcerers, Sorceresses, Spells & Enchantments, Unrequited Love, affliction, goddess of affliction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-02-29 10:13:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18776212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowergoddessbrittany/pseuds/Flowergoddessbrittany
Summary: Farrah always believed that she would love Loki until the end of time. However, when Thor informs her of Loki’s death on Svartalfheim, her only solution to quell her pain is to erase his memory from her mind.Of course, this proves to be quite the conflict when Loki is found to be alive and demands to know why his wife doesn’t even recognize him.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Starting fresh with this Loki fit I've been working on for over a year. This series will lead up to Infinity War and Endgame, so be prepared for that. Not really much else to say besides thank you !! Let's hope this doesn't go south.

Her hands shook as her teeth dug into her bottom lip painfully, awaiting the dreaded words she knew would leave Thor’s mouth. Her hazel irises scanned her brother in law’s face for any tiny sliver of hope, a hint of relief in the despair evident in his eyes.

She cursed herself for not accompanying them on their mission, but she knew if she were to leave Asgard unguarded and there was another attack by the Dark Elves, she would hold herself accountable for hundreds of lost lives. 

Not to mention the fact that she held complete and utter faith in her husband and his brother, and assured herself that they would both return in one piece. 

But only one stood before her, with guilt radiating off of him in waves. Deep wounds framed the side of his bearded face, a tell tale sign that Malekith had been a difficult enemy to conquer. The revelation only made her stomach churn.

“Thor..” she prompted with a voice heavily coated in sadness. “Where is he?” a large part of her didn’t want to know the answer, because she could already guess that it would be something unbearable to hear.

She watched him swallow, watched his adam’s apple bob with the motion. His eyes, which had darted along the walls of what was once her shared room with Loki, met hers. For a moment, he seemed he would burst into tears. 

“I’m sorry, Farrah” he bowed his head and flinched when a choked sob left his friend’s mouth. He couldn’t look at her, not directly, but in his peripheral vision he watched her crumble to the floor in a heap. “He died saving my life” Thor admitted with tears burning the back of his eyes.

“No!” her sudden shout startled him, caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand on end. He’d never heard such a sound come from her, and feared that the new information had truly broken her. “You’re lying, please tell me you’re lying” her voice wavered pathetically before she broke out into another chorus of sobs.

Thor knelt down beside her and rested a large hand upon her trembling shoulders. Her small hands grasped the fur carpet beneath her in an attempt to ground herself, as in that moment she felt like the world was falling on top of her, and she had to be sure that she was still alive. 

“I wish I was” Thor sighed solemnly. The confession sent her into a dizzying fit of labored breaths and ear splitting cries of anguish. She could physically feel her heart snap, and it knocked the breath out of her. 

In one swift movement, Thor pulled the grief stricken Goddess into his strong arms and rocked her back and forth as her pitiful cries grew more desperate. She called out to his fallen brother, begged him to come back to her, but Thor knew it was futile. 

He watched the life drain from Loki’s eyes as he laid sprawled out on the dark soil of Svartalfheim, heard him utter his last words before his skin grew even colder and face grew even paler. He remembered how it felt to scream at the heavens when he truly understood that Loki was gone. 

And now he had just passed that pain on to Farrah, someone who deserved it the least. 

 

 

 

It was a few weeks later when Thor returned to Midgard. Farrah hadn’t quite recovered from the loss of her beloved husband, and she declined the offer of accompanying him to the planet which would only bring her memories of him. 

Instead, she opted to remain on Asgard and drown her sorrows in ale and sparring. The warriors three, as well as Sif, were very helpful in keeping her physically healthy. They coaxed her to eat, dragged her out of her chambers daily, and kept a watchful eye on her whenever she took part in drinking. 

She was grateful for her friends, and despite their dislike for her fallen spouse, they offered her a shoulder to cry on when the nightmares that plagued her kept her awake at night. Although, she couldn’t imagine living the rest of her life in constant agony. 

It wasn’t until one lonely night in the palace library that she found a small cluster of hope for the future. A book covered in layers of dust sat hidden behind one of the shelves on the back wall, and she had found it in a stroke of luck when she had reached down to brush dirt off of the skirt of her dress.

The book was an old spell book, the color of lilac petals, that had apparently belonged to a vǫlva born centuries before her. The brown leather was cool to the touch, and the fact that it seemed purposefully hidden piqued Farrah’s interest.

She isolated herself to a secluded section of the library, one of which her and Loki would retreat to if Thor was being too bothersome or Odin too harsh. She found comfort in the silence, and read page after page until the hours flew by.

She learned that the vǫlva’s name was Efferhild and that she resided in the west mountains a full day’s trek away from the palace. The woman was a practiced wielder of seidr, and used her abilities for healing the mind and psyche. 

Farrah read about spells to help one sleep, to release one’s mind from the control of another, there had even been a spell that, when used upon someone, would lead them to believe that they were dead. 

The one spell that particularly caught Farrah’s attention was the last one recorded in the book. A spell to erase specific sections of one’s mind. It was said to be incredibly dangerous, and the entire reason why the woman went into exile in the first place.

It was said that the vǫlva disguised herself as one of the handmaidens for King Bor and made nightly visits to the dungeons to practice this specific spell. When it was discovered that half of the prisoners had no recollection of their crimes, King Bor investigated and found Efferhild responsible for the disruption. 

She fled the castle before she could be charged, and nobody had ever seen her again.

Farrah was always terribly obedient, it was a wonder how she ended up married to the God of Mischief in the first place. So, it wasn’t an easy decision to go behind the Allfather’s back and take the spellbook to her room, locking herself inside and feigning illness.

She didn’t possess an ounce of seidr, even after all the years she spent trying to learn from Loki. So, no matter how well she learned the spell, nothing ever happened after she uttered the incantation and focused her mind on her raven haired Prince. She would be left in her room, silence engulfing her and memories of her beloved flooding her brain until the hope drained from her. 

It was six nights later that she learned how to remedy her lack of seidr. On her wedding night, Loki had gifted her a necklace with a golden chain and large emerald dangling from it. The piece of jewelry emanated a soft, green glow. When she asked about it, he offered her a devilish smile.

“As long as you wear it, I will always know where to find you” he pressed a chaste kiss to her knuckles. “Nothing will ever be able to tear us apart” his smile reached his fierce green eyes as he gazed upon her with pure adoration.

Her heart burned at the thought of that night, as it was her favorite memory of him. Well, it was, before he so cruelly left her to fend for herself in a universe without him.

She clutched the glowing jewel in her right palm and stared into the mirror that hung across from her bed. The same bed she shared with Loki, which housed hundreds of those memories which she used to revel in, but were now tainted with grief and hopelessness. 

The words rolled off of her tongue, almost like a prayer. She had practiced it so many times that she needed not look at the spellbook which sat at the end of her bed. Instead, she closed her eyes and focused solely on the memories of her trickster God. She would love no other, it was better this way.

Though, her assurances were interrupted by a sudden pounding on the door. The voice was garbled through the thick wood, but she knew it had to be one of the guards that patrolled the hall just outside. He must have overheard something, and meant just to check in.

Her momentary lapse of control caused the emerald to release an overbearing wave of seidr all at once, rather than small portions as the spell had instructed. Farrah let out a startled gasp as the seidr wound around her body and entered her mind forcefully.

The last thing she recalled was the sound of yelling guards just outside the door and watching as her body was jerked forward into a dark abyss through the mirror. Then, she slipped out of consciousness……


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farrah's new home, the New York Sanctum, is invaded by two interesting visitors.

Farrah sipped her tea contently as her eyes skimmed over the cloak of levitation with a growing curiosity. She was certain that the article of clothing had a grudge against her, and it made her apprehension of the cloak apparent, but her need to understand it was unparallelled to the weariness she felt when regarding it.

“What, is the way I’m sitting offending you?” she scowled at the red cloth. It slithered through the air like a deceitful serpent until it swept over her head and succeeded in making a mess of her brunette locks. 

“You insufferable, good for nothing..” she cursed once she realized she really had no idea what word she could use to describe the irritating cloak, and it seemed to find that bit of information amusing as it shook with silent laughter. She glared pointedly at it.

“Just you wait, when Strange isn’t looking I’m locking you in the dryer to shrink” she threatened, causing the cloak to stiffen in shock at her words. 

“Now, now, there’s no need for such cruelty” Farrah let out a groan as the man previously mentioned entered the room wearing a large smirk upon his face and a fancy suit jacket over a white dress shirt and dark trousers. 

Farrah spared him a curious glance, but didn’t bother to ask about his attire. It wasn’t a surprise to see him dressed in such a way. In fact, she was sure he had just come back from a coffee run with Wong.

“Strange, why do you bother to keep this thing around?” she grumbled indignantly. The cloak instinctively wrapped around Strange’s shoulders in an attempt to put distance between itself and the grouchy young woman. 

“The cloak of levitation is very helpful” Strange replied simply as he shrugged his shoulders. “I would have bitten the dust on more than one occasion without it” he passed the table which Farrah sat at and reached for a heavy book from the shelf behind her. 

She watched him skim over the pages of the book, which levitated in front of his face and flicked through pages without his hands being anywhere near them. His dark brows were drawn together in deep concentration.

He had been very interested in the gem she wore around her neck when he first found her. Upon his first week protecting his sanctum in London, he had stumbled upon ancient markings in one of the vast rooms enveloping his new found home. Curious, and perhaps a little unnerved, he uncovered their meaning, and found it to be the opening to an old portal which led he knew not where.

Against his better judgement, he activated the portal with Wong’s help, and he wasn’t sure what he’d expected to find. So, when a young woman was literally thrown from the ghastly portal, he had quite a few questions.

By the way her skin morphed from a deep grey to a creamy pale and the bags under her eyes shifted into nothing, it could be inferred that she had spent a very long time falling through that portal. The thought caused a strange sympathy to disrupt Strange’s heart. 

The emerald held the faintest of light around it, attached to the gold chain clasped around her neck. Her fingers had been sealed around it tightly, even in her unconscious state. Yet, when he attempted to remove the gem from her person, it burned his very hand.

It was a peculiar day for Strange, and that was saying a lot coming from a man who mastered the mystic arts. 

“I think today I want to go for a walk” Farrah bit her lips as the proclamation left them. She knew what his answer would be, and she dreaded to hear it. She hadn’t been alone since she first arrived, and she was itching to explore the planet she currently resided on by herself.

“If you must,” Strange huffed, nodding his head to the heavy door of Wong’s chamber. “Bring Wong with you, he loves that little sub shop down the street” he informed her. Farrah narrowed her eyes at the sorcerer, aware that he only wished for Wong to accompany her because he didn’t trust her. 

It had only happened once, when she attempted to run away. In a flare of panic, she thrust her arms in front of her to protect herself from Strange’s binding spell he had thrown at her, only to see a deep purple mist engulf his body that emanated a screech of fierce agony from the doctor. 

It had startled her, and she immediately let up on whatever had just happened. She remembered staring at her hands for several long moments as Strange writhed on the ground and Wong knelt down to help him.

The memory still caused the guilt to creep into her bones, but she had apologized for it so many times she lost count. Strange didn’t resent her for it, but he feared that whatever power she possessed could easily be miscontrolled and end up hurting someone else. 

She wished she could remember exactly what it was, but whenever she desperately dug into her memories to attempt to resurface something useful, the only thing that came to her mind was her name, Farrah. 

“You’re driving me crazy, I hope you understand that” she grumbled, lifting herself from her seat. She crossed the room to retrieve her light jacket that Strange had gifted to her after her arrival, and headed for Wong’s room. She didn’t miss the ghost of a smirk on Strange’s face.

 

 

“What did you get?” Wong peaked over his large, half eaten tuna sub with wandering eyes and a hungry gaze. Instinctively, Farrah pulled her food closer to her and rose a brow in warning. He still watched her expectantly.

“Ham and cheese with mayo, lettuce, tomato and pickles” she listed off the items on her sandwich without faltering, as it had been a custom for her to get it often. The deli clerk knew her face, and upon her entering the store had it made and waiting for her. 

Her eyes fell upon her companion, who had already started to devour the second half of his sub. She idly wondered if he realized how intently she watched him, how she racked her brain for any way she could sneak off. She’d tried it a few weeks ago, and it resulted in her being captured immediately and sent back to her room through one of those infuriating portals the two of them summoned on a daily basis.

“What are you doing?” he suddenly asked her as apprehension crossed his face. She found his reaction to her watching him eat amusing. She had made the wizards increasingly paranoid. It caused her to smile proudly. 

“Oh, nothing, just admiring the scenery I’ll likely never get to explore on my own” she quipped. It was Wong who now rose a brow at Farrah’s sarcasm. Though, it didn’t seem to bother him too much, because he was back to eating moments later. 

A sudden burning at her chest caused Farrah to cry out and drop the food in her hand. Wong crossed the table in an instant, and reached for the pendant around her neck. His hand hesitated as he watched it pulse with green and grow brighter. 

“What’s happening?” she winced, but refused to clasp her hand around the offending object. Truth be told, she was afraid of it, afraid of what it could do to her. Strange forbade her from removing it, something about it perhaps being dangerous if it became detached from her body. 

“I’m not sure,” Wong trailed off, uncertainty blatant on his hard features. “We must get back to the Sanctum” he gripped her hand and outstretched his arm that held the sling ring on his finger. Farrah grumbled her disagreement under her breath as the portal was summoned and she was dragged through it.

 

 

 

 

“...My wife is here and I am taking her with me back to Asgard!” they appeared in the middle of a heated argument between Strange and two peculiar men. Wong motioned for Farrah to stay behind him, and he stepped forward to analyze the situation. 

“Look, wizard, we’ve really just come for my brother’s wife and our father. Once we’ve found them, we will no longer be in your way” her eyes fell onto the burly blonde man dressed as if he were homeless. His worn jean jacket strained to cover the hoodie over his muscled chest and toned torso. His ripped jeans sagged in all the wrong places, and his hair looked to be in need of a good wash. 

Maybe some people found that handsome, she could see his light features and baby blue eyes as a turn on for some people. She, however, found herself appreciating the man standing next to him.

The first word that came to her mind when she saw him was predatory. His lips were tucked in a firm line, green eyes alight with a deadly mischief, and hands clenched around two short daggers. He wore a sleek black suit which hugged his form in the best way possible, and his dark hair fell to his shoulders in curled ringlets. 

She licked her lips as she watched his chest expand and fall with every heavy breath he took. The blonde one seemed to be trying to soothe him, but he wasn’t exactly putting much effort into it. 

“You want your father? I’ll happily aid you in finding him. I, however, cannot hand Farrah over to you just yet” Strange’s voice had a certain edge to it which Farrah recognized all too well, the same edge when he’d scolded her for her many escape attempts. 

But why did these two very opposite men want anything to do with her?

Something in her heart stirred, an answer, and she stepped forward from the shadows despite Wong’s disapproving frown. 

“What’s going on? Why is there talk of me being handed over like some petulant child’s lost toy?” her eyes were dark with anger as she glanced between the three. The man in black, as she dubbed him as, let out a sigh of relief.

“Norns, Farrah, I thought you dead!” he snapped, that odd mixture of anger and warmth floating like tiny minow fish in a green pond. He took a step forward, and Strange did as well. 

“So you’re the one who erased her memories? Trapped her in her own purgatory until Wong and I found her?” Strange snapped. He gripped Farrah’s wrist protectively, and the man in black snarled. 

“I have not the slightest idea what you’re talking about, now unhand my wife before I slit your throat, you second rate-” he was interrupted by Farrah’s exclamation.

“Exactly what do you mean by ‘your wife’?” she ripped her arm out of Strange’s grasp. “I’ve never seen you before in my life” she glared at the strikingly handsome but exceedingly irritating man. Her fists clenched at her sides, and both men stepped back at the sight of her magic enveloping her fists. 

“Lady Farrah, we mean you no harm” the blonde spoke to her slowly as he rose his hands up. “Please, allow us to explain” Thor shuddered at the multiple memories he had of being hit with Farrah’s magic. The pain she caused was searing, stunning. He’d never felt anything like it and he was sure he never would. 

Loki smirked at the memories it revived, a time where she reigned he and his brother in when they would become too rageful toward each other. She had a way of taking charge of any situation, and he found it utterly beautiful.

Farrah glanced down, shocked to find her hands emanating the same purple mist that hurt Stephen. 

“Tell me who I am, since the two of you seem to know so much about me..” she always knew there was a past life, could feel it when her heart rate would pick up at certain, insignificant things. She had no recollection of her childhood, where she lived, who she was before she woke up in the Sanctum. 

“Which one of you bumbling morons did this to her, hm?” the man in black was vicious, his voice borderline insane. He looked as if he would kill anyone at any moment, but Farrah couldn’t find it in her to be afraid of him. Almost as if she subconsciously knew he wouldn’t hurt her. 

“This was not our doing” Wong spoke quickly. “We found her like this, floating through a portal in space!” he argued. 

“Brother, what did the Einherjar tell you of the night she disappeared?” Thor coaxed Loki to back away from the two powerful men before them. “Surely there must be an answer” he recognized the betrayal and pain behind Loki’s eyes, expertly hidden with anger as per usual. 

Loki gritted his teeth and whisked his daggers away. “They said there was an unrecognizable voice in her room. When they attempted to open the doors, they were locked shut, but there was rattling and banging and they heard her cry out” Loki avoided Thor’s gaze, to hide how deeply this affected him. “When they entered, they were sure someone had used a spell to take her away, since no windows were open and she couldn’t have left the room”.

He glanced up at Farrah, who stared with brows furrowed and mouth slightly ajar. Her arms rose to hug herself.

“Maybe you should sit down,” Strange suggested to Farrah. She nodded distantly and allowed herself to be guided to one of the couches in the sitting room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments and feedback, I would love to know how you all are enjoying the story so far!


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farrah reluctantly agrees to follow two strange Gods from her past back home, but a revelation sparks the birth of a dangerous villain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are enjoying the turn out of this story. Thanks for the feedback, it is not only welcomed, but encouraged as well.

“This still doesn’t explain who took my memories away and why” her huff of frustration was accompanied by an aggression fueled at everyone around her. “None of you are making any damn sense, and it’s really starting to piss me off” the flicker of purple had the entire room tense and cautious. 

“Let us bring you back to Asgard, Lady Farrah, I’m sure once you are introduced to what you once knew you’ll gain them back” the blonde man, who she now knew as Thor, smiled reassuringly at her. She found the gesture sweet, but not convincing. 

“Her lack of memory directly affects her control of her abilities,” Strange stressed. “When she is emotionally compromised, she lashes out. I’ve been on the receiving end of it, and it’s not pleasant” at this, Thor and Loki agreed. 

Being forced into a state of constant pain was not very pleasant at all.

“No harm will come to her or anyone else for that matter, you have my word” Thor was trying his persuasion, which seemed to be loosening Strange’s grip on Farrah. Loki, on the other hand, remained with his eyes fixed on his love. The only woman ever able to tame him, make him feel loved. 

When the Einherjar came to him with the news of Farrah’s disappearance, he had assumed the worst. Kidnapping, torture, death. He was torn between exposing himself and leaving Asgard without its King or going to her immediately. 

He couldn’t track her on his own, leaving him to believe she had abandoned his necklace somewhere. It hurt to think she had discarded him like a piece of rubbish, writing off his death and moving on. He still wished to find her, to show her that he was alive, and to love her, because he missed her warmth and her adoration and her light.

So, he called Thor home, exposed himself to his brother only, and pleaded. Pleading was never in his nature, only when Farrah was involved would he reduce himself to such a weakness.

Thor had been livid, demanding answers as to where he stored Odin and why he hadn’t told anyone that he still lived. Truth be told, Loki never meant to fake his death, but once it happened he was eager to reap the benefits. 

His necklace called to him the night of Thor’s return, and his heart leapt with hope. He forced Thor out of bed and called upon Heimdall to send them to Midgard, where his beloved was being kept. He wasn’t sure why his necklace had failed him before, but he was not about to question it now. 

He wanted to rip this Strange fellow to shreds for harboring his wife for so long, for being reluctant to let him take her home. Thor, however, was attracting more flies with honey than vinegar, and so he let him speak. 

Farrah’s eyes fell to Loki, her supposed husband, and she thought to herself that she did quite well appearance wise. His face wasn’t enough to strike the match that would spark her memory again, but she hoped that by being surrounded by her old life, she just might gain some of it back.

“The last I checked, this life was mine” she turned her fiery gaze to Strange. “And I’m to make my own decisions, which don’t include being locked up here by you, Strange” his eyes narrowed, but he allowed her to speak further. 

“I am very thankful for you saving my life, make no mistake, but it is time I return to the life I had before all of this” she could no longer avoid Loki’s gaze. Their eyes met, and she was stricken with a familiar sensation she couldn’t fully grasp. 

“If I return with you, you mustn’t expect my full compliance immediately” she warned him. “I don’t remember you, nor do I remember wedding you. If you believe that I will fall back into our familiarity in a day’s time you are sadly mistaken. Be patient with me, or don’t have me at all” she was firm in the way she set her boundaries, and Loki smiled. That hadn’t changed.

“You have my word, Princess, I will wait as long as it takes. Make no mistake of it, Farrah, you mean a great deal to me” he murmured as gently as he could. Thor watched on, glad to see that his brother was not as delirious as he had been since he returned. 

“I believe you” she smiled surely. 

“He’s the God of Lies and Mischief” Strange commented dryly. “This could all be a scheme that he’s fooled his brother into playing along with” he told her.

“Tell me, Midgardian, how fond of your tongue are you?” Loki leaned forward, menacingly. “Another word against me and I’ll slice it off with my dagger” he growled. Thor’s firm hand on his shoulder pulled him back, but his glare remained fixed on Strange. 

“He’s unpredictable, I’ll give you that” Farrah agreed. 

“As I stated before, no harm will come to anyone. Not while I’m keeping watch of them” Thor reached his taut arm over the small table to shake Strange’s; to signify that they could leave on good terms.

Strange hesitated, but took Thor’s hand in a firm grasp. “I will send you to Odin. Once you find him, promptly return to Asgard. Make your mess there, where it belongs” he instructed the trio. He didn’t miss the intense glare from the man who attempted to take New York, but he ignored it nevertheless. 

“You are going to be most pleased with Asgard, my dear friend” Thor gushed as Strange concocted his potion to find Odin. “Though, it hasn’t felt like home since the passing of our mother” Thor glanced hesitantly to Loki after the words thoughtlessly hung in the air around them.

Farrah furrowed her brows at Loki’s immediate reaction to the mention of his mother’s death. Jaw clenched and fists trembling, he barked at Thor to shut his trap. In return, Thor folded his arms over his chest in a silent dare for Loki to retaliate.

“Are the two of you always like this or..?” Farrah’s eyes snapped between the two brothers with growing uncertainty. How had they been this close in proximity with each other for so long without one of them dying?

“Usually much worse,” Loki’s eyes shifted to Farrah, and a wistful smile captured his lips. His face softened from the hard lines of grief to an underlying affection Farrah had yet to reciprocate. “You’re usually the one who separates us before we can have the other’s head” he added lightheartedly. 

“He’s in Norway” Strange announced suddenly. “Thor, would you allow me to extract a strand of your hair?” Farrah was unsuccessful to prevent the giggle to pass her lips at the disgusted face Thor made.

“Let’s get one thing straight, wizard, nobody meddles with my-” he yelped at the sting of his hair being plucked from his scalp. Strange winked, then began constructing the spell that led to the Allfather.

“What’s he like?” Farrah murmured to Loki, who had taken to standing quite close beside her. Somehow, his intrusion was not unwelcome, and she allowed him this bit of comfort. “Odin, I mean” she clarified. 

“Selfish, ignorant, deceitful” the last adjective caused Farrah to raise a brow at the God of Mischief. “Worse than myself, if you can believe it” Loki paused. “You despised him, said he was too self-righteous to admit any mistake he ever made. You weren’t wrong” his eyes met hers for a few fleeting moments. “You never were..” his voice took a soft turn. 

Her heart ached at the notion of disappointing him. Her husband.

Just as quickly as the tenderness seeped into his voice, it had scurried off. The portal in front of them led to a vast green field. A darkened sky hung above like heavy curtains. It seemed that a storm was brewing.

“Good luck, Farrah” Strange watched on as the three prepared themselves for the awkward reunion. “I truly hope you find yourself” an insufferable lump found itself lodged in her throat as she was finally faced with leaving the only part of her life she had known. 

“Goodbye, Strange” she nodded, blinking a few times to rid her eyes of the burning tears. She sent a small smile to Wong, who remained stone faced at her departure. Though, when her gaze lingered on him, he pursed his lips.

“Thank you for sharing many sandwiches with me” he shook with silent laughter. She could feel Thor and Loki watching her intently, and decided it was time to embark on this unknown journey.

A warm hand rested atop her shoulder. She fully expected it to be Loki, and whipped around to give him a piece of her mind, but found herself calmed by the gentle blue of Thor’s eyes instead. It was his reassuring hand. 

She understood then, why he had been her friend. 

“Come, Lady Farrah, one more stop before home” he beamed. She nodded, more of an encouragement to herself than anything, and took one last look at the Sanctum.

“Send a postcard” Strange called to them before they slipped through the portal….

 

 

 

 

“Wow, he’s old” was Farrah’s blunt observation as they happened upon Odin sitting by himself at the edge of a cliff that overlooked beautiful mountains and lush meadows. Thor hushed her desperately, and Loki felt a swell of affection at the playfulness she displayed. 

“Father,” Thor spoke once they were close enough. The confusion on his face was understandable; Odin did not turn at the sound of his son’s voice. 

“My sons,” he remained facing away from them. “I see you’ve been reunited with an old friend” he struggled to stand, a cane carved from wood clutched in his right hand aided him. “Your mother...she calls to me” he announced this with utter certainty.

Farrah’s blood ran cold. Thor had stated his mother to be dead.

“Loki, lift your magic” Thor warned. She was startled by the menacing tone Thor’s voice had taken when regarding Loki. There was a certain tension she couldn’t begin to interpret. 

Loki, for once, regarded Thor with concern etched upon his dark features. Lips parted slightly, he shook his head at his brother.

“Father, we’re here to take you home” Thor insisted. His hand came to rest between his father’s shoulders, similar to the way he had interacted with Farrah moments earlier. 

“Home?” Odin questioned. He finally graced Thor with acknowledgement. Something inside her told Farrah that Thor was not used to this treatment from his father, but Loki didn’t seem all that surprised. Then, his gaze turned to his dark son, and he grinned. 

“It took me a while to break free from your spell,” an exhausted chuckle emanated from the old man. “Frigga would have been proud” there it was again, the indescribable reaction to his mother’s name. “Come, sit with me, we haven’t much time” Odin led them to a set of rocks piled a few feet away. They doubled as a place for them to rest.

“We are sorry to have failed you, but we’ve come to make it right” Thor assured his father with a weak smile. Odin fixed his eye on his oldest son. His face was but a mask, hiding something underneath. Farrah couldn’t discern what.

“No, I have failed you” he stated gravely. He shifted himself on the cold rocks beneath him and unleashed a breath of air he had been holding. “Ragnarok is upon us” his eye fell closed with shame. 

Farrah had no recollection of the term, but by the reactions it forced from Thor and Loki, she could infer that Ragnarok was nothing to celebrate. 

Relief flooded Thor’s features for a short time as he assured his father that he had put an end to Surtur, whoever that was, but quickly diminished at Odin’s next confession.

“She’s coming. Hela, Goddess of Death..” he glanced between his two sons with growing dread. “Your sister..” Thor blanched. 

Farrah refrained from interrupting. Why had this sister not been mentioned before? Had Thor and Loki even known? She guessed from Thor’s paleness and Loki’s hard swallow that no, they had not known. 

“My life was all that held her back, but my time has come” now there was alarm, detected in the way Thor stiffened and promptly made to argue. 

“We can defeat her together, father” Farrah’s heart clenched at Thor’s absolute faith in his father. Despite being lied to, he still fully believed his father would aid him. Loki, however, didn’t seem to hold his breath. 

“She draws her strength from Asgard. Once she gets there, her powers will be limitless” Farrah shifted uncomfortably. Had she known she would be walking in to hellfire, she would not have joined them on this journey that was doomed to fail. “We won’t defeat her together, for I am on a different path now” the severity in his voice stunned Thor from speaking further.

“I love you, my sons” Odin stressed the last word, and Loki’s already cold blood ran even colder. He swallowed thickly in an attempt to rid himself of the burning in the back of his throat. He was supposed to hate Odin, but now found that he was drowning in guilt for what he had done to him.

He took Farrah’s hand, the first time he had accepted her presence since she had stepped through that portal. She watched him cautiously as he gave her hand a firm squeeze. “Take care of them, just as you always did” despite being worded as a command, his eyes held a certain pleading that disrupted her confusion for the smallest fraction of time.

She did take care of them.

The epiphany was gone before it had fully even come to her, and she gasped when she felt his solid hand turn to dust. 

In a display of golden, twinkling stars, Odin disappeared. He left the pair of grieving sons behind to clean up a mess he had made. 

Thor stood abruptly, and Loki followed suit. He was quick to put distance between the two of them, as he could only wait for his brother’s famed tempter to rear its head.

“This was your doing” Thor spat between heaving pants. Farrah stepped back at the sight of electricity shooting from his clenched fists. The sky above darkened and roared with booming thunder. Streaks of lightning crossed the sky.

The hair at the back of her neck bristled, and the urge to turn around became simply too unbearable to ignore. She spun on her heel, eyes widening at the sight. 

A sinister, dark cloud made its way toward them, opening up to reveal a woman billowing from the smoke. A leather catsuit hugged her body like a python suffocating its prey, the colors of green and black. 

“Do you think the two of you could stop bickering and take a look at this?” she called over her shoulder, brows furrowed. 

Both Gods turned to see the commotion Farrah was referring to. 

At the intimidating sight of the woman before them, Thor let out a shaky sigh. 

Loki and Thor trudged slowly to the looming figure, instantaneously appearing in their battle armor with Loki’s magic and Thor’s lightning. 

“You must be Hela” he nodded, causing her to smirk dangerously…


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farrah finds herself trapped with her supposed husband on a strange planet, and gets a glimpse into her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for this story to be taking off !!! Thank y'all so much for the kudos and comments, they are much appreciated. Here is chapter 4 :)

Loki pulled Farrah behind him, eyes trained on the stranger standing before them. Despite the ache in his chest where the absence of her love resided, he still wanted to protect her with everything he had. 

“I’m Thor, son of Odin” Thor introduced himself hesitantly. How, exactly, did one confront a woman who wished to destroy everything? 

“Really?” the woman drawled, amused. “You don’t look like him” she analyzed his bulky muscles, broad chest, golden hair. No, he held little resemblance to Odin. 

“Perhaps we can come to an arrangement” Loki offered. Anything that would bring them from the crossfire of the Goddess of Death. 

“You sound like him” Hela acknowledged. Her eyes narrowed between the two brothers. She held no interest for the flighty fledgling behind them. “Kneel” she commanded. 

Farrah scoffed. A sound that slipped past her lips before she could stop it. Hela’s dark eyes fell upon her, questioning and fierce. 

“You’ve been exiled for, what, centuries?” Farrah guessed, brown hair flowing in the harsh breeze. “Yet here you are, pretending to be a Queen” she cursed herself for her ever growing pride. 

“Farrah,” Loki hissed. It was as if she were trying to get herself killed. 

“Hm. I think I’ll kill you, first” Hela mused. She advanced on the trio, brushing her black hair back to make way for her headdress. Like Yggdrasil itself, it branched out into different directions. Black, like the rest of her clothing. 

“I don’t think so” Thor wouldn’t allow his newly found sister in law to suffer the blow of this creature. He threw Mjolnir towards her, and gasped when Hela caught it in her palm, preventing the weapon from doing any damage. 

“This….isn’t possible” Thor ground out as he attempted to call Mjolnir back to him. 

Hela smiled deviously. “Darling, you have no idea what’s possible” in a flurry of light, Mjolnir burst into pieces, its power fanning out around each individual.

She summoned two swords, one for each hand. Loki panicked, taking Farrah’s hand and screaming to the skies. 

“Bring us back!” he called desperately. 

“No!” Thor ran forward to escape the bifrost and prevent Hela from following them, but it sucked him up despite his attempts to free himself. 

Farrah yelped in surprise as the ground disappeared from under her. Hues of gold, red, blue, every color she had ever seen surrounded her like a blanket. 

Below, Hela gained speed. 

She felt something hard against her back, craning her neck to see Loki had pulled her to him for protection. Even with the chaos unfolding around her, she found her heart to jolt at the sudden contact. 

He chucked a dagger at his intended target with a grunt. When Farrah watched the evil woman catch the weapon and throw it back, she squeezed her eyes shut. 

She did not wish to return to the state with which she was trapped in for years. 

“Loki!” she heard Thor’s desperate call. She felt her body being turned away from the weapon, and her eyes snapped open. 

He was going to take the brunt of the blade. 

She watched the knife graze his back, throwing the both of them off balance. Loki held tighter, his fingers grasping the simple leggings and jacket she wore. 

Then, the two of them were ejected from the bifrost and engulfed in the cold darkness of space. 

 

 

 

Farrah awoke with a gasp, lifting her upper body with her arms and studying her surroundings. 

Mountains of debris touched the polluted sky, filled with gaping holes in space where more debris fell. 

In the distance, she could make out a city of sorts. Multi-colored and crude and ugly. Almost too ugly to look at. 

A sudden realization slammed into her, and her gaze flicked down to Loki. Her husband, who had broken her fall and now laid still below her. 

“Oh, god” her eyes widened. Her hand hurried to test his pulse, and she sighed in relief at his pulse against her fingertips. 

A clang, possibly metal against metal, sounded from her right. She jumped up, scrambling to find her bearings and not fall back over. 

A small group of masked beings wearing dirty rags regarded her with growing interest. Her heart pounding against her chest filled her eardrums until it was all she could hear. 

“Are you a fighter, or are you food?” one rasped with a voice that caused Farrah to grimace in disgust. 

She went for the answer that she thought was best. 

“Oh, I’m a fighter” she puffed out her chest a little and projected as much strength as she could. “A mean killing machine…” she nodded. 

They didn’t seem convinced. 

“What about him?” one gestured to Loki, blissfully unaware of what exactly was going on. 

“Definitely a fighter” she replied hastily. 

Her fear crept along her spine the moment she realized they possessed weapons. Seven thugs carrying weapons, and they seemed hostile. 

The mist was back, wrapping itself along each of her fingers and engulfing her fists that were clenched at her sides. 

The leader of the group aimed something similar to a gun at her. Her chest constricted suddenly, and she thrust her palms forward to lessen the blow of whatever would shoot from the gun. 

A pained scream filled the air and echoed throughout the debris. Loki awoke with a start, eyes frantically searching for Farrah. 

The remaining six watched, mouths agape, as their leader fell to his hands and knees with gurgling sounds spewing from his mouth. He curled into himself, begging for the agony to end. 

Farrah watched as the lilac mist spiraled into the air, targeting each hostile being and dipping into the pores of their bodies. 

Tears sprung to her eyes as the screams and cries grew in volume and desperation. She didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t know how to stop. 

Cold hands squeezed her shoulders, causing her to startle. While her full attention was no longer focused on the scrappers, the mist retreated back to her hands. 

She greedily sucked in large breaths and doubled over as the exhaustion washed over her. 

“Who am I?” she sobbed frantically. Her shoulders trembled as the creatures struggled to crawl away from her. The fear in their eyes was enough to condemn her soul to hel then and there. 

Loki watched on tearfully. 

“You are the Goddess of affliction” he answered gravely. He knelt onto the ground next to her and offered his hand. “Would you like to see?” he murmured softly. 

“I don’t want to be shown my monstrous actions again” she heaved. She brushed away the cascading tears with the sleeve of her jacket. 

“Nothing about you is monstrous, Farrah” Loki assured her. “You are capable of so much more than causing pain. Let me show you” he pleaded. 

She’d wanted answers, that was the entire reason she came along, left behind the irritating life she’d lived before. 

She placed her trembling hand in his sturdy one, and his memory flooded her brain in mere moments. 

 

 

 

 

_____

 

The battle had reached its climax. Soldiers fell at the hands of the marauders plaguing Vanaheim, villagers screamed in the midst of the chaos, and for once in their centuries of battle together, Thor and Loki feared they might lose. 

“Brother, allow me to veil us in smoke while you gather our troops. I fear a victory today would come at much too high a cost!” Loki shouted over the sound of clashing swords and dying breaths. He was aware that if they continued much longer, their numbers would disappear. 

Thor summoned a deadly bolt of lightning with Mjolnir and thrust it forward to stop a group of rebels from attacking a woman and her child. His troubled eyes flitted across the battlefield, studying the likely outcome with a growl. 

Sif and Volstagg fought against the crowds desperately. He grimaced upon witnessing Sif suffer a deep gash to her shoulder. She cried out in pain and stabbed the assailant, killing him instantly. 

Fandral was knocked from his horse with such force, it knocked the wind out of him when his back hit the soil. He struggled to stagger to his feet, only to be knocked back down by three masked beings wielding weapons of their own. 

Hogunn seemed to be the only one defending himself without much trouble. Though, even he seemed to be succumbing to exhaustion at the hands of the battle. His dirt caked face wrinkled in effort as he swung his weapon in a wide arc, decapitating several of the warriors closing in on him. 

“There’s too many of them” Thor acknowledged with a scowl. “On my mark-” he was interrupted by the sound of the bifrost behind them. The ground beneath them shook, and the battle seemed to continue on in slow motion. 

Thor and Loki watched on, half expecting their father to have come to end the battle swiftly and efficiently. However, both gods were surprised to see the silhouette of a female standing proud in the middle of the beaming light. 

She strode out, dark eyes alight with determination. Her golden cape, which tied around her neck, flowed behind her as she took purposeful steps into the fray. Her loose trousers were stuffed into long, black boots that came to her knees. Under her cape, a long sleeved tunic the color of cream. 

She possessed no weapons. No sword, no dagger, not even a shield to protect herself. Her brown hair cascaded down her shoulders in thick waves, pinned out of her face by a crystal band atop her head. 

When Loki noticed the warriors beginning to close in on her, he moved to rush to her aid. This fair creature was too young, too beautiful to lay her life down and be killed so ruthlessly. A large hand atop his shoulder stopped him, and Loki glared back at his brother. 

“Wait,” Thor’s eyes never left the young maiden. Her face did not falter, not when the sheer number of rebels gaining on her multiplied, not when they unsheathed their weapons, not even as they charged at her aggressively. 

Then, there was the flicker of a smile as warm, violet wisps of magic formed a sphere in her palms. She paused just five feet away from the miscreants and slowly stretched her hands wider, allowing the sphere to grow into a sparkling mist. 

They slowed down, unsure of what exactly was about to happen. Weapons still drawn, the battlefield grew silent. Loki, frozen in place, clutched his hands into fists as he anxiously awaited the woman’s next move.

Her hands shot out ahead of her, projecting the mist forward. As if it were alive, it instinctively sought out the marauders, prodding at them like venomous snakes. When the first cries of agony protruded from their lips, the chaos once again hit its peak. 

Only this time, the mysterious woman with the power to inflict pain took the brunt of the masses. Thor and Loki now understood why she did not carry weapons or shields. The enemies couldn’t get close enough to her for them to be useful. 

Loki’s fascination was made apparent in the way he became sloppy whilst fighting. His perries were not as swift, slices not as concise. He watched her snarl ferally at the creatures being subjected to her assault, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

He wondered, if their pain was costing her as much as it was costing them.

“Loki!” Thor’s shout shook him from his reverie, but it was not enough to alert him of the enemy directly behind him. The commotion caught the attention of the woman, and she gasped as she witnessed the youngest Prince fall victim to an arrow shot into his back. 

He bristled, awaiting the searing pain of the arrow piercing his skin. After a beat, he opened his eyes to find why he did not feel anything. 

Her hands had redirected themselves, and while the arrow stuck out of his back, the pain from the stabbing intrusion was sucked from the wound in a flurry of purple magic and sent back to the attacker. 

The man dropped his bow and screamed suddenly. He fell to the ground and writhed in the pain he’d attempted to inflict on Loki. 

“It’s pierced your spine, my Prince” when her voice graced his ears, goosebumps rose over his arms and neck. Thor immediately noticed Loki’s piqued interest and smirked. The woman came to stand in front of Loki, who studied her fluid movements as closely as he could. “I should like to heal it for you, otherwise the damage will be permanent” she expertly avoided his eyes, as she’d heard many stories about the charming yet deceitful god of mischief. 

Loki failed to summon his silvertongue, instead opting to nod simply and allow the woman to her work. She glanced to Thor, smiling kindly. 

“Heimdall alerted the Allfather to the severity of your situation. I was sent in his place” she explained as her hands subconsciously glided under Loki’s armor. He shivered at the contact, but she hadn’t noticed. “Might I suggest you shackle the heathens whilst they’re inebriated?” she quirked a dark brow in the crown prince’s direction. 

Thor laughed heartily as he gestured for his friends to begin the process of taking prisoners. Then, he turned back to the woman tending to his brother. Despite being under Loki’s armor, Thor could still make out the faint glow of healing magic. 

Loki suppressed a pleased groan as a warm buzzing emanated from his would be wound. He’d been healed many times before by Eir and the healing staff. Never had it felt so soothing. His shoulders sagged in relief, eyes fluttering shut as a sigh escaped his lips. 

Thor snorted. 

“There, your majesty” Loki turned to the woman, frowning when he noticed her uncomfortable grimace. When she saw he was watching her, an impassive look crossed her face once more. “You should be pleased to know it won’t leave a scar” finally, Loki caught a glimpse of her smile. It was soft, perhaps even shy. 

“I am both impressed and grateful for your gifts, M’lady” she blushed when he took her hand and placed a chaste kiss to it. “Thank you for aiding us in battle, you’ve saved a great many Asgardian lives, including my own” she tucked her hair behind her ear and glanced to the rebels laying weakly on the soil. 

“Yes, I suppose so” there was the ghost of a frown upon her plump lips. She bowed deeply to the princes of Asgard and cleared her throat. “I must return to the Allfather, but I will see the both of you at the debriefing” she turned on her heel and strode across the battlefield with the same confidence she possessed when she arrived. 

“We didn’t catch your name!” Thor’s booming voice carried over the breeze and to her ears. Her steps ceased, and she glanced over her shoulder at the princes. They remained standing together, watching her retreat. 

“I am Farrah, goddess of affliction” she called back to them. Then, in a flash of light, the bifrost carried her from where she stood back to her home world.

 

______


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gains the Grandmaster's favor whilst Farrah attempts to find out more information about the strange planet they're trapped on. Farrah gets another glimpse into her past, one that sparks more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo glad y'all are seeming to like this so far. I have very big plans for this series, so please be patient ! Also, if you wouldn't mind, please leave feedback !!!!

Loki watched the sheer wonder in Farrah’s eyes as the memory faded into nothingness. Slowly, he made to pull his hand away. Her warning from before echoed in his brain, taunting him. She did not love him, not now. 

He was pleasantly surprised when she grasped his hand harder and squeezed assuringly. Tears were still present in her eyes when she looked up at Loki. 

“That was when we first met?” she asked him with a tearful smile. Loki lifted her from the rubble underneath them and brushed himself off. 

“Yes,” he chuckled, a blush settling onto his cheeks. “As you could see, I was completely mystified by you” he admitted sheepishly. Farrah’s heart swelled as she thought back to how fascinated he was with her. 

“So, I don’t just inflict pain..” Farrah trailed off as they began a steady pace to civilization. She wondered how she was ever able to control it, like she had the first time she met Loki. 

“You, my dearest, are able to bend pain to your will” he explained. “You always told me you controlled it by allowing your emotions to take the lead. That is why I believe you’re finding that you can only inflict pain, for that particular trick is born from your fear” he squinted his eyes to get a better view of the city in the distance. 

“That would explain why I controlled it while in battle” Farrah nodded, brows furrowed in concentration. “I was confident in my ability to control it” she nodded. 

“Precisely” Farrah gazed up at Loki, watching his eyes flicker with something akin to his own fear. His adam’s apple bobbed harshly, and he kept his gaze straight ahead. From his peripheral vision, he noticed that she was staring. 

Truthfully, he dreaded telling her the rest of their story. His betrayal, his deceit, his descent into madness. She barely forgave him for it when they lived it the first time, he doubted her heart could take the ache all over again. 

“What’s going to happen to Thor?” Farrah asked suddenly. She loathed to admit that she forgot about him in the chaos which had unfolded when they landed on this literally trash planet. Now, she wondered if he would survive the altercation with their newly found sister. 

Loki heaved a long sigh. As much as he attempted to hide it, he was worried for Thor. Without Mjolnir, he was unsure of how he would prevail. 

“I’m not sure, but knowing him, the universe is ever on his side” the bitter twist to his words caused Farrah to give him an inquiring look. She opened her mouth to question his sudden attitude, but decided perhaps she should not awaken his ire when they were to be stealthy. 

Loki outstretched his arm to stop Farrah from stepping forward. They had made their way to the outskirts of the city, where the raucous cheers and bustling vehicles could be heard just as clearly as their own voices from where they stood. 

“Let me handle the talking” he stared pointedly at her innocent face. “Since when you happen to open your mouth, only sarcasm comes out” he accused. Farrah gasped in mock offense. 

“I have no idea what you mean!” she exclaimed. 

“You’re letting the pathetic Midgardians rub off on you” Loki grumbled grouchily. From the slight tilt of her head, he understood that she had no clue what that meant. However, before he could indulge in explaining it to her, the sound of an intercom rang through the air.

Farrah and Loki winced at the irritating noise that came with it. 

“Greetings, fellow Sakaarians!” the exuberant voice announced. “The bets for my Contest of Champions have begun! Tonight my beloved Champion will be making his appearance” the intercom conked out suddenly, leaving Farrah and Loki to exchange curious glances. 

“I have a feeling you’re going to suggest we split up..” she frowned deeply. How ironic, she practically begged Strange and Wong for alone time, yet now she was terrified of being left by herself. “Loki, I don’t think I-” she was interrupted by Loki placing his hands on her upper arms gently. 

“Farrah, please trust that I would never let anything happen to you” he licked his dry lips anxiously. 

“You’re literally a talented liesmith” she protested with a snort. 

“Not with you” he shook his head, eyes falling shut. “Never with you” though her brain warned her against trusting him, her heart warmed at the thought of someone so devoted to her. She folded her arms over her chest. 

“Fine, what’s the plan?” she groaned. 

“I’m placing a cloaking spell on you so you can’t be seen by others” after a beat, he chanted something under his breath and a faint tickle at the back of her neck caused her to giggle quietly. “I want you to collect information. Anything you hear, I want you to report it back to me” he instructed. 

The commanding tone he adapted she found to be incredibly attractive. An involuntary shiver skittered across her spine. If Loki had noticed it, he didn’t let on. 

“What will you be doing?” she questioned suspiciously. Loki smirked, and something told her that this smirk was something he wore a lot. 

“Clearly the leader of this planet was over that intercom. I’ll find him and see if I can earn us some security” he let go of her, glancing to her lips with longing. Had she possessed her memories, her love for him, this would have been a perfect moment to kiss her. 

But she didn’t possess either, so he settled for a simple goodbye.

 

 

 

She’d stumbled upon four orgies. Four. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been as scarring if the participants had less than six sets of reproductive organs, but that just wasn’t her luck. 

Loki had taken the tough route, and she worried about him every chance she could. He had left her with one simple task, and she couldn’t prove to do that right. It seemed that the citizens of Sakaar only wished to party, gamble, and have sex. 

Her aimless wandering led her to a rather peculiar building with carved faces of unrecognizable creatures on the front. It resembled the buildings that had surrounded the New York Sanctum, tall and discolored at the bottom. 

Upon entering, her eyes immediately fell to the bar. Every seat was full, and drinks were being served faster than she could count. Among the attendees, one stood out from the rest. 

Her dark skin was hidden by a dirty leather suit, greasy hair pulled back into multiple ponytails. She popped the cap off of her drink and guzzled the entire thing in one go. Farrah couldn’t pull her eyes away. 

Whomever she was, she radiated confidence. Maybe she could learn a thing or two from her. 

“Ah, there you are” Loki’s voice sounded from behind her, and she wondered if he had broken the cloaking spell yet. She turned to face him and cocked her head to the side in her silent question. “You’re still cloaked, darling” he assured her. 

“So you look like a madman talking to thin air” she slapped her hand against her mouth to stifle her giggles. She could only imagine how amusing that would be to watch. “Unless you’ve cloaked yourself, too. Can you do that?” her interest was piqued. 

“Of course I can” he chuckled deeply. “And you’ll be happy to know I got us a suite for the night” he winked mischievously. The glint in his seawater eyes was almost familiar. 

“Do I even wish to know how you accomplished such a task?” despite the teasing tone she’d adapted, Farrah truly found herself curious. 

“Weak minds are ever persuadable” was his enigmatic reply. 

Loki pressed his hand to Farrah’s lower back and guided her in the opposite direction of the bar. Though she could assume where he meant to steer her off to, she still protested. 

“You don’t have to guide me, I’m perfectly capable of walking” she grumbled. At her irritation, Loki swiftly pulled his hand away. 

“You never allowed such actions when I first began to court you” he smiled wistfully. “I should have known better” he shook his head. 

As the two of them slinked through the dingey halls to whatever room Loki had scored them, Farrah thought back to the memory Loki had shown her. 

The technique which she used in the memory was precise, and the mist that unwillingly oozed from her palms was sloppy and unpredictable. 

She stared down at her palms intently. Perhaps she was thinking too far into it. The harder she tried to control it, the more it slipped through her fingers. 

She had always known she wasn’t like Wong and Strange, not human. She had not known that she possessed abilities that far surpassed an inconvenient mist that was triggered by her emotions. 

Once they came to stand outside the vibrant door, painted red and white with jagged lines, Farrah glanced questioningly at Loki. 

“Are we going to eat at any moment?” she asked with furrowed brows. “I know we’re supposedly superior to the human race, but I’m starving” she all but whined. She hadn’t gotten to eat much of her sandwich from earlier in the day. In Earth time, it must have been the middle of the night at least. 

“Yes, dearest,” Loki made a show of pushing the heavy door open and grinning. Farrah’s eyes widened at the sight which he beholded. 

A large bed fit for a king sat in the middle of the room against the back wall, a shimmering canopy hanging over the bed frame. Two oval shaped windows took up the left wall, showcasing the rubble that was Sakaar. 

What caused her to dart into the room like a frightened rabbit was the kitchen, off to the right, filled with breads, fruits, and wines. 

Farrah balanced herself on one of the tall bar stools and ripped into a soft loaf of bread. With cheeks full and eyes alight in pleasure, she pointed to something hanging over the edge of the bed that she hadn’t seen upon her initial inspection. 

“What’s that?” her voice was garbled, as she had spoken with her mouth full. Loki cringed as a piece of half-eaten bread flew out onto the counter. Farrah noticed, and shoved it back into her watering mouth. 

Loki couldn’t help the smile that upturned his scowl. She had always consumed large portions of food, always unashamed. The Lords and Ladies of the court found the habit to be disturbing. In fact, he even recalled Odin once bringing it up. 

That had caused a disaster. 

Loki grabbed his new attire. Still leather, with yellow accents instead of green. His new title poised at the center of his chest, an old rune signifying that he was of great importance to the Grandmaster. 

“Nothing to worry yourself over, love” he replied nonchalantly. Before she could protest, a burst of green magic engulfed Loki’s form. Her brows shot up to her hairline at the sudden action, and she watched intensely as his figure emerged from the mist dressed in what he had previously been analyzing. 

“The pet names, Loki, they’re not going to magically make me fall in love with you” she warned in between bites of a sweet fruit she’d never tasted before. Loki quirked a brow in her direction. 

“And when, pray tell, did I ever say they would?” that bitter edge to his voice was back, the same he used when he spoke to or about Thor. Farrah shifted in her seat and finished swallowing her food before she continued. 

“I’m just feeling rushed, is all” she huffed, eyes trained on her supposed husband. “Words aren’t going to bring my memories back..” she trailed off. Truthfully, she was only feeling rushed by herself. 

Loki stalked towards the table, reaching past Farrah to pluck a grape from the bowl and pop it into his mouth. His eyes never left hers as he chewed slowly. “Then I will continue to show you my own memories until you begin to find your own” he finally revealed. 

“What if they don’t come back?” she whispered. 

“Then would it really be so awful to simply be with me and allow your feelings to return without them?” he exclaimed abruptly. It caused Farrah to flinch just barely. “Am I that repulsive to you? That you cannot even fathom being in love with a monster like me?” he pushed. 

“I don’t even know you!” she shouted, incredulous. Loki’s eyes wandered to her hands, blanching when he noticed her spark had returned. 

Loki laughed humorlessly. “Allow me to show you” he gritted out. She idly felt his grip on her upper arm before she was once again plunged into that dream state. 

 

 

 

_______  
Tears blurred his vision as he pushed through servants and guards alike. His one and only goal was to make it to his quarters as soon as possible. He needed not Frigga or Farrah to stop him and demand they be told what was wrong.

Farrah would be sick to her stomach, knowing she had lain with a Jotun...a beast.

He swung his heavy oak door open, successfully knocking it into the wall with a resounding crack. No doubt he had created a hole there, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“Why has Heimdall been questioning me regarding your cloaking skills, Loki?” Norns, he was not in the mood for Farrah’s irateness today. Though, the question did make him pause. If she were onto him, he feared he might lose her. 

Well, if he didn’t lose her after exposing his true self to her, first. 

“Farrah, you have no idea what you’re dealing with. Leave me” his tone was cold, brittle. A warning, dressed as a threat. Farrah folded her arms over her chest and stepped from the shadows of his room. 

“I know exactly what I’m dealing with” she hissed, hazel eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Do you even care about the lives you endangered with that stunt? You’ll be tried for treason!” she choked back a sob. “I would never see you again” her voice faltered. 

Just as he suspected. She found the Frost Giants just as dangerous and repulsive as the rest of Asgard. The small flame of hope he had been clinging to burned out in one last flicker. His emerald eyes turned wild. 

“Thor nearly killed us all!” Loki protested.

“And your father banished him for it!” 

“He’s not my father!” 

Silence. The sound of the leaves brushing against his window was all that could be heard. That, and Farrah’s heaving breaths. 

The confusion was ever present on her face. “What is that supposed to mean?” she glared tearfully. When Loki turned away from her, shoulders shaking with every deep sob, her harsh features softened. 

“Loki..?” she prompted. 

When he turned back to her, tears streamed down blue, ridged cheeks. Blazing, red eyes watched her face contort into shock. The temperature in the room dropped, allowing goosebumps to make their presence across her arms and shoulders. 

“Yes, my darling,” Loki spat cruelly as he gestured to his foreign form. “This is the monster you’ve allowed access to your heart, to your secrets” he gnashed his teeth. “To your bed..” Farrah let out an agitated grunt. 

“No, Loki” her voice was ominously calm as she took in Loki’s Jotun form. There was no disgust present in her eyes, only fury. She took three quick steps toward him, chin jutting out defiantly as she stared into the ruby eyes of her lover. 

“It is not what is on the outside that makes you a monster” she shoved her pointer finger at his exposed chest, not even hesitating at the new, cold skin there. “It is your thirst for power that leads you to stop at nothing, not even hurting the people who love you, that does so” her voice shook with heavy emotion. 

Loki blinked down at her, completely lost for words.   
______

 

 

 

 

Farrah recoiled immediately, greeted with the sight of Loki, once again, branding his other form. His true form. She watched as the guilt settled over his downcast eyes and gathered brows. 

“I’m sorry I brought you into this,” before she could utter another word, he turned on his heel and left the room. 

Before the door shut behind him, she saw the tell tale flicker of green magic. He changed himself back.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange occurrences awake Farrah in the middle of the night, and Farrah demands answers of her so called husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, and for that I apologize. Thank you for the comments and kudos ! I'm, so grateful that my work is being enjoyed :)

There was the faint brush of a whisper against her ear. 

Farrah shot up in bed, heart rate quickening at the thought of an intruder. Her fears only grew when she noticed Loki had not come back. The side of the bed that she had designated for him was empty and cold. 

The whispers seemed to pause, as if waiting for her to gain consciousness, before returning. As Farrah craned her neck to listen further, she was disturbed to find that it consisted of multiple voices, not just one.

“Farrah” one voice rose above the rest, and she distinctly heard it utter her name. Her head pounded, eyes burning from terror and curiosity. She didn’t recognize the voices, but with her sheer lack of memory, she wouldn’t expect to. 

Cautiously, she slid out of the extravagant bed with bottom lip bitten between her teeth. The silk, green nightgown, which had eerily appeared on her bed hours after Loki’s disappearance, brushed her thighs with every step she took towards the door. 

The voices were coming from outside. 

She pulled the door open carefully, so as not to wake whomever took up residence on her floor. With a hard swallow, she followed the sound of the whispers. 

“In here”

“Come closer”

“Find us” 

She shivered, bringing her arms around herself for comfort. The hair on the back of her neck stood to attention when the voices had steered her to what appeared to be another room. Though, she was sure it hadn’t been there when her and Loki had passed the empty wall before. 

The emerald necklace shone brightly in the darkness the closer she got to the door. 

Just as she was about to grasp the handle, something grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. With a panicked shriek, she pushed the stranger away from her and took a few tentative steps back.

Loki stood before her, arms crossed and positively glaring. “So you didn’t throw it away,” he growled. “Yet, that leaves me none the more mollified” he reached to grab her again, but she turned away from him before he could. 

The door was gone, giving way to a plain wall. Her body trembled, her mind too caught up in the voices and the ghostly door to begin to decipher what enigma Loki had given her this time. She whipped around once more, mouth agape. 

“There was a door” she stated confidently. “And...and there were voices calling to me!” Loki scoffed in disbelief. 

“You’re just sleepwalking” he brushed her concern away. “And here I thought you were in serious trouble” he rolled his eyes dramatically, causing hot anger to slice through Farrah’s body. 

“I know what I saw, I know what I heard” she persisted. “And maybe you wouldn’t have to be concerned if you’d come back to our suite” she retorted. Her eyes traveled back to where the door had been. She brushed her fingertips against the cold wall, feeling just that; a cold wall. 

Loki’s harsh sigh grabbed her attention once more. 

“If you had the necklace this whole time, why did it take me so long to find you?” Farrah had the feeling he wasn’t directly asking her, but voicing his question aloud. Still, she felt the need to grace him with an answer. 

“You didn’t notice it before? It stands out like a sore thumb” she accused. Then, with sheepish realization, found her explanation. Since meeting Loki, she’d worn a jacket. Her necklace was nestled behind it. 

Now, with her only wearing a thin nightgown, it was clear as day. 

“Nevermind,” she shook her head. “You gave this to me?” she questioned. 

“Yes, on our wedding night” he replied exasperatedly, as if she should already know such simple information. Well, she should have, had she possessed any memories of him in the first place. 

Loki decided to leave out the part about it tracking her every move when he was not present. 

“Why does it glow?” yet another question, she hadn’t been doing it on purpose. If there had been time since their ‘reunion’, Farrah would have demanded Loki recount their time together in concise details. 

Loki eased her back to the room, promising her that he would answer all of her questions when he wasn’t so bleary eyed and in need of slumber. He wouldn’t admit it, but the last he recalled sleeping peacefully was with her tucked in his arms. 

Farrah crawled onto her side of the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Loki’s hand paused in the midst of grabbing the blankets on the other side. He sent Farrah a questioning look, awaiting her approval. 

“I won’t force you to sleep on the floor, Loki” she rolled her eyes. “Sleep in the bed with me, just keep to your side” her body rolled onto its side, back to the trickster god. She felt the bed dip, no doubt he had crawled under the covers. 

She could feel the chill his body radiated, but she’d always preferred to be cooler whilst laying in bed, so she ignored the chills that slithered up her spine. A traitorous thought, that perhaps the chills could be blamed on something other than Loki’s body temperature, was eased from her mind as sleep claimed her once more. 

 

 

 

 

___________  
“I can’t let you do this, Loki” her voice shook, and for the first time in her life, she was scared of him. Scared of her own husband. The screen before her showed that of chaos. Damages inflicted by the very weapon which had decimated the Jotuns some time before; the Destroyer. 

He abruptly turned to her, horned helmet glinting in the golden light projected from the King’s quarters. At first, she had been overjoyed at the prospect of Loki becoming King, finally receiving the chance he so desperately craved. 

If only she had known it would have fueled the fire raging within his rapidly melting heart. How much he had changed, the severity of it all, weighed down on her like the cosmos themselves. 

“Now, Farrah,” he tsked with lips set into a grim line. “I do not only expect your support because I am your King, but because you are my wife. My Queen” he emphasized. The mad grin that stretched across his face caused her breath to falter. 

“I don’t want to be your Queen if it means allowing you to slaughter innocent lives” she protested. “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore, Loki!” her voice had risen to a desperate octave, one Loki recognized. 

The fear in her glistening eyes was nearly enough to sober him. 

“Farrah,” he started to stroke her cheek, but she stepped back from him. The underlying despair she harbored in her gaze was masked with a fierce determination. “Don’t make me hurt you” his threat was empty, as he knew no matter how mad he had become, he would never purposely harm her. 

She knew that, as well, as her mist swarmed about her hands lucidly. 

“Brother, whatever I have done to lead you to do this….I am sorry” the broken voice of Thor crackled over the speakers. Farrah grimaced at the tears in his eyes, the pain evident on his face at his brother’s betrayal. 

“It’s a little too late for that,” Loki muttered, estranged. 

“But these people are innocent, and their lives don’t need to be taken” Thor stopped to gulp. “So take mine, and end this” he shivered. 

“Don’t you dare” Farrah growled. 

The mist wedged its way through the room, closing in on Loki’s traitorous form. A sneer appeared on his lips instantly; lips that she had kissed without hesitation in the previous days. 

“So, now you’ll turn on me as well?” he questioned. A swirl of purple was barely missed by his head. “Just like the rest of Asgard?” she could hear the disdain in his voice as he regarded her. 

She thrust her arm forward, fingers working to allow the mist to lace about the air. One specific sliver prodded at Loki’s chest while he was occupied with the rest, and he cried out in surprise at the tiny, pressing sting that elicited. 

“I love you,” Farrah choked out, ashamed it had come to this. “But I will do what I must to protect Thor, to protect our people!” she was desperate to keep his focus away from the panel. 

She feared what Loki would allow to happen to Thor. 

Though, at the mention of his brother, Loki’s face crumpled into rage. 

“I should have known!” he screamed, throwing a large table in her direction. Blinded by his madness and saved by his love for her, he had missed completely. Farrah needn’t step out of her designated spot, as the object hadn’t come close to her. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” he accused. 

The green magic sparking from his fingertip caught Farrah’s attention. She watched with a weary eye, hands poised to strike in case he did mean to harm her. 

“You know that to be false, Loki” she gathered the mist into a spherical orb and shoved it at him before he could finish Thor. 

The impact sent him to the ground. 

“I only love you!” Farrah gritted out as tears nearly blinded her. Her lungs spasmed with heart wrenching sobs. “And I’m afraid that the actions you commit in blind madness you will never be able to take back” her voice had grown hoarse and raw as she regarded him with flighty eyes. 

Loki’s face contorted into one of immense disappointment. His eyes were glossed over as short breaths exited his body with haste. 

“Farrah…” he called to her softly. Against her better judgement, Farrah went to him. 

“It’s okay, I’m here” she brushed his cheeks with her palms. “We can end this” her eyes held that hope in them, the hope that her husband was finally coming back to her. 

That hope was quickly distinguished when he wrapped both wrists in his hand. Before she could engulf his body in searing pain, he chanted a spell to keep her body rigid and stiff. 

Without the fluidity of which her hands and fingers moved, her powers were trapped there. She couldn’t scream, as Loki commanded the Destroyer to harm Thor. 

He was blinded by rage and suffering.   
__________

 

 

 

 

 

Farrah woke with a jolt, chest rapidly expanding with each greedy breath she sucked in. Even so, what she had just witnessed, she was positive, was a memory. 

One that caused her to cast a stirring Loki with the nastiest glare she could muster. 

“Darling?” Loki’s groggy voice cut through her heart. For a moment, as she watched him blink sleepily, she forgot why she was angry. 

Then the picture of him lying to her, using her weakness against her, reminded her. 

“Don’t ‘darling’ me” she mimicked aggressively. “I’ve just had a memory returned to me” at this, Loki bolted up into a sitting position, all signs of weariness erased from his features. 

“What..what did you see?” he inquired anxiously. His fingers idly picked at his palm as he stared intensely at her dark features. 

Though, from her disgust, he was sure it wasn’t anything good. 

“Was that the worst of it?” her trembling words betrayed her anger. “You used me, lied to me, and attempted to kill your brother?” tears fell freely as she recalled the dread in her heart. 

She had felt everything, and it was enough to steal away her breath. 

Alarm bells signaled in Loki’s head, from each corner of his brain. He would have to come clean. Here and now. 

“Would you just allow me to start from the beginning?” he pleaded. Only with her, he would only reduce himself to this for her. 

Farrah recoiled, eyes searching his for that artificial calm he harbored in her nightmarish memory. When she found there to be only genuine hope, she sighed harshly. 

“I want to know everything you’ve done to wrong me” she told him, hesitating before offering her hand. “You leave nothing out. Not a single bit” she warned him steadily. 

“And if I so choose to remain with you afterwards, well,” her steely voice returned as she regarded him. “That will be my decision to make”. 

Loki nodded slowly. 

“I guess I shall start from where you’ve left off” Loki’s heart, cracked and bruised already, splintered further. His instincts barked at him to let her leave, just as everyone else had. 

He wanted so badly to project disinterest to her insults, but he couldn’t. Unlike Odin and Thor, he was totally and completely in love with her. 

No title, no magic, no deceit could hide that from her. 

“No,” she leveled her gaze with his. “From the beginning” she reiterated. 

She placed her warm hand into his cold one and closed her eyes. Patiently, she awaited the memories to unfold.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first wave of memories hits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Farrah's memories did not all fit into one chapter (as expected) so I've broken her trip into two chapters. This entire chapter is flashback, so hope that doesn't confuse y'all. Thanks for the kudos and comments !!!

Upon returning to the palace, Loki discovered that the woman who commanded the battlefield with her bare hands, was under his nose this entire time. 

For, when he’d been sent to Lady Eir by his mother the moment he and Thor stepped foot onto Aesir soil, his beauty bustled about the healing wing with hands alight in her telltale plum sparks. Her focused hazel eyes dismissed him as she sauntered to every bed and healed what Eir couldn’t have. 

“I see you’ve met my daughter” Eir smiled warmly as she completed her assessment. “Her abilities, dare I say, have begun to surpass my own” Loki’s eyes widened at the revelation. All this time, as he’d been sent to the head healer for his bumps and bruises, he could have already known the lovely Farrah.

“Forgive me, Lady Eir, for sounding insensitive,” Loki shifted as she cast her quizzical gaze upon him. “I wasn’t aware that you had a daughter” his face crinkled with unbridled curiosity. 

Eir glanced back at Farrah and sighed wistfully. 

“Many don’t, for I’d kept her birth a secret for centuries” Eir’s eyes masked what Loki perceived to be underlying fear. “Her abilities hold great capabilities, I feared that in an inability to understand her, the people of Asgard would rally against her” she explained, taking a moment to swallow her emotions. 

Loki frowned as his eyes once again carried over to Farrah. She fretted over Sif, who smiled graciously at the young woman. 

“You must be terribly concerned for her recent introduction to the nine realms, then” Loki observed. 

Eir nodded. “But I am glad to see she’s finally able to live her life as a normal Lady of the court, not as something to be feared” she admitted. 

Loki did not fear her. 

Before he could leave the healing wing, Eir caught his arm gracefully. When his inquiring eyes met her own swirling grey ones, he noticed a harshness in her gaze. 

“I know your deception runs deep, Prince Loki” she acknowledged, lip curled ever so slightly. “But if you wish to court my daughter, you’ll need to understand this” Loki’s eyes widened at the fact of being caught. Here he thought he’d been smoother than what was true. 

“Farrah is, in the very sense, a perfect little wife. Beautiful, capable, and she possesses a high status in the court” Eir frowned thoughtfully. “But she will not bend to your will, or anyone else’s, for that matter” Loki smirked daringly. 

“And why, pray tell, do you believe I wish to court your daughter?” Loki asked, in an attempt to cover his tracks. He would lose his high ground, he knew, if Farrah had known he was after her. 

Eir chuckled humorously at this. “Your eyes have flitted back to her at least several times since you’ve been here, your highness” she ushered him off right after, but that did nothing to seize Loki’s formulating plan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Loki studied his brutal wound at the corner of his forehead with a proud smile. The illusion would fizzle out the moment she placed her gentle hands upon it, but at least it would give him enough time to charm her. Hopefully his silvertongue would not fail him in her presence once more. 

He stumbled into the medical wing, groaning at the effort. Eir rushed towards him as his lithe form fell onto one of the nearest cots. 

“My Prince!” she gasped. 

“Thor...tend to him” Loki ground out. “He’s worse off than I” Eir nodded, glancing back to Farrah, who had her nose buried in her book still. Loki noticed it was of the Vanir’s floral collection. 

“Daughter, see to it that Prince Loki is taken care of, I’m off to find Prince Thor” Eir instructed. Farrah did not hesitate to slap her book shut and stand from her seated position. She smiled reassuringly at her mother before crossing the room to where Loki sat. 

The wing was empty, save for one lone Einherjar injured in training, but his snores indicated that he was sleeping peacefully. 

“Now, Prince Loki,” Farrar admonished with a knowing smile. “Exactly how did you find yourself with this lesion on your head?” Loki smirked, tongue poised to strike, until his eyes met hers, and the words died on his lips. 

“Well, er, you see..” he trailed off absentmindedly. Goosebumps lined his arms when Farrah brushed his hair back with her talented fingers. Just as he’d predicted, the wound faded when she pressed her hand against it. 

“I wasn’t aware the god of mischief put this much effort into capturing his conquests,” she commented offhandedly. “But seeing as you’ve gone through the trouble, I’ll allow you to explain yourself before I alert my mother to your tricks” she folded her arms over her chest, now clad in traditional Aesir garb. 

Loki opened his mouth to speak, then closed it once more. 

“So you’ve heard the rumors?” he asked with a deep disappointment clutching his heart. Farrah rose a brow. 

“I’m aware that in the last week you’ve bedded four of the chambermaids, yes” she paused to giggle at his forlorn expression. “I wouldn’t exactly call them rumors” she shrugged. 

This was about the time Loki would sneer, put up his defenses, and shut her out. Though, instead of doing just that, he found himself rushing to clear his name. 

“That is false, Lady Farrah” he insisted with a harsh sigh. “Lady Sinali feigned interest in me to attain my brother. When I learned of her betrayal, I was not quiet about it. That, in turn, caused her to tarnish my name” he couldn’t suppress the eye roll that accompanied his statement. 

Farrah was increasingly aware of Sinali’s childish need to exact revenge on those who’d done her wrong. Her features softened, for his story didn’t seem as such. 

“I do not hold allegiance with Lady Sinali or any of her petty followers,” Farrah eased herself onto the cot, next to Loki. “But I am also aware that you are infamous for your lies. So, I ask again, why have you gone to such great lengths to earn an audience with the likes of me?” though suspicious, Loki couldn’t help but admire her yearning to seek answers. 

“I...well,” Loki nervously stroked the back of his neck and avoided her gaze at all costs. “I find you to be captivating” he glared when Farrah snorted. 

“Please!” her aloofness had damn near drove him mad. “Am I so captivating that you’ll continue to seek me out despite my dismissal of you?” she tilted her head to the side in question. 

So that’s what she wanted, his affections to be proven to her. 

“If it will deliver my true intentions; yes” he replied smugly. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He returned to her every day, always with freshly picked flowers from his mother’s gardens, always grinning like a mad man. Frigga, ever the perceptive mother, noticed the shift in her usually quiet and brooding son’s behavior. 

Even Thor had seemed pleased with the change in Loki’s attitude, for his trickster brother had not the time to cause his usual mischief. 

“I have run out of new breeds of flower to bring you, my lady” Loki confessed one afternoon with a vivid rose blush upon his pale cheeks. “I suppose Vanaheim would possess fauna unique to its land, perhaps I shall start bringing you bouquets from the Vanir” the genuine solution he proposed had nearly knocked Farrah off her feet. 

“You mean to travel to a completely different realm, everyday, just to bring me flowers?” she asked, mouth agape and jaw slacked. 

“If I continue to bring you the same, dull plants everyday, I daresay you would grow tired of me” he offered as a reply. “I can’t have you questioning my loyalty, Lady Farrah” his wink caused a noticeable blush to erupt from her chest and paint her face and neck in petal pink. 

“Loki..I, well, I’m not sure of many things,” she bit the inside of her cheek, expertly avoiding his intense gaze by focusing her eyes and hands on unwrapping bandages. “I’m not sure of my standing with the Aesir population, I’m not sure I’ll ever be comfortable with my atrocious abilities,” she listed off backhandedly as she continued to unpack inventory. 

“That’s nonsense, Farrah, your gifts-” she swiftly cut him off with the rise of her palm. 

“I’m unsure of myself, at every turn” her eyes sparkled when she met his twisted ones. “But I will never, ever be unsure of your loyalty to me again” the promise in her words caused Loki’s heart to flutter into his throat. 

From that point, the two of them would never be spotted apart. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Farrah’s tiny footsteps echoed through the empty corridors of the royal wing. Only since her ties with the Prince had she been granted permission to roam them, by Queen Frigga herself. The woman radiated a warmth so pure, Farrah was sure she was unworthy of it. 

Loki had been missing all day. Strange, for he could always be found waiting for Farrah’s shift to end or dining with her in the gardens. His usual mischief, though never fully absent, had dialed back just slightly. Thor, Sif and the Warrior’s Three could breathe a sigh of relief, always making their appreciation for Farrah known whenever they crossed paths. 

The concern etched onto her dark features was enough to alert anyone to her distress, so she was ever thankful to be alone in her search for her partner. 

The love they shared in the four short years they’d been together was more than some couples had known with centuries under their belts. There were no secrets between the two of them, seldom quarrels which made way to passionate lovemaking afterwards. 

Farrah knew there would never be another. 

“My darling, you have run yourself ragged in search of me” she heard a chuckle from behind her. Loki, undoubtedly, had been watching her. His cool hands smoothed down the curve of her shoulders as he pressed a chaste kiss to the side of her exposed neck. “I find myself honored” his false bravado, though well equipped, was not enough to ward away her worry. 

She turned then, brow furrowed as she stared into her lover’s eyes. 

“What has gotten into you?” she murmured softly. Loki watched her eyes search his face for the telltale signs of his distress. An involuntary curl of his lip, a twitch in his jaw, anything to clue her in to his thoughts. 

Loki was well aware that his little healer understood him better than any other. 

He grasped her hands, placing two more kisses upon her palms, and smiled sadly. “I should know that hiding from you is futile” he mused, more to himself than her. 

Leading her into their shared quarters, Loki shut and locked the door with a flick of his wrist. Before Farrah could speak further, his lips descended upon her own in a scorching kiss that left both parties breathless. 

“Mh, Loki” she pulled away suddenly, the complete opposite of what she had wanted to do. However, she would not allow him to distract her from the question at hand. “What, in the nine realms, is going on in that intricate mind of yours, my love?” she asked. 

The innocent glint of curiosity shining in her hazel eyes caused him to falter. Green eyes filled with unshed tears that he attempted to blink away. His voice had grown heavy, thick almost. The greens, golds, and purples of the room blended into a kaleidoscope through his tears. 

“Thor’s….coronation” he forced the words out before he could choke on them. He despised the utter pity evident on Farrah’s face as she watched the pain drip from his water ducts. His hands clenched into fists around her waist. “Don’t look at me like that,” he snapped. 

Farrah let out the breath she had been holding and rested her cheek against his leather bound chest. “Oh, Loki,” she breathed raggedly. 

He was always so dismissive of himself being the worthy son, of being chosen to take the throne. Most of him knew that Thor was the likely future king, but there was a small part of him that was clinging to the hope of earning the spot himself. 

“He’s witless, too violent to rule an entire realm! He’ll drive us into war until we have nothing left” Loki seethed, the far away look in his eyes turning into something much more sinister. Calculated rage. 

“Loki,” Farrah admonished whilst lifting her head to glower at him. “Surely you don’t mean that. Thor still has much to learn, I agree, but there is no need for such hostility” Loki pulled away from her altogether.

“So you’re siding with him” Loki growled. 

“Enough with the petulance, Loki, I won’t have it and you know that” she pointed out, frustration lacing her tone. 

“No, you don’t get to undermine me right now” he stuck an accusing finger in her direction. “I have always come second to Thor, and I thought that just..just this once,” Loki’s anger faltered, then, like a burning building finally relinquishing to the flames at last. 

Farrah cradled him once more, toying with the raven curls that clung to the back of his neck as he buried his tear stained face into her shoulder. 

“What can I do, my love?” she asked him with tears of her own slipping to taint her lips. “How can I rid you of this pain?” she whispered against his shoulder. 

He muttered something incoherent, then. Farrah hadn’t heard what had slipped past his lips, unguarded and vulnerable. 

“Hm?” she prompted. 

“Marry me” Loki removed his head from where it laid and gazed into her eyes for any sign of hesitance or disapproval. 

He was only met with a hope-filled shock. 

“Loki?” she asked, unsure. 

“You are all I need, Farrah, the beacon of light I find myself anchored to in my darkest hours” he pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, imagining every detail. “The jewelers would craft you a ring of the most beautiful emeralds and golds, the tailors would collect fabric from every realm for your dress, mother would wed us in the throne room...with the entirety of Asgard our witness” he rambled like a giddy school boy. 

Farrah choked out a sob and wrapped her arms tightly around the back of his neck. Pulling him down to meet her hungry lips, her tears mingled with his own. 

“Just give me the word, my darling, and I will give you everything” he breathed over the expanse of her lips and cheeks. Her hands clung to the sides of his face, searching him for the genuinity in his eyes. 

She found it with ease, causing her heart to beat rapidly against her rib cage like a bird desperate to flee its cage. 

“Yes, Loki” she beamed up at him. “I will marry you” she squealed in surprise when her entire form was lifted into the air. Her legs came to wrap around Loki’s waist for stability as he sauntered over to the bed and laid her atop the furs. 

His body, now wedged between her thighs, was cool against her hot flesh. They took the silent moments to gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes. Loki bumped his nose against her own affectionately. 

“I love you, my heart” he murmured in a hushed whisper next to her ear. 

“And I love you, my handsome trickster” she spoke into the darkness of the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A week prior to Thor’s coronation, just to spite him, Loki married the love of his long lasting life. As promised, Farrah’s ring had outshined every other in all the realms. Even Queen Frigga had commented on the perfectly cut emeralds that surrounded one diamond on the gold band. 

Loki, dressed in his traditional battle armor, ascended the golden steps slowly, as was practiced days before. His cape slid across each step like a billowing curtain. Handmaidens rushed to fix it as he stood still, awaiting Farrah through the large, golden doors.

Asgardians roamed the streets as the festival outside hit its peak. Vendors and craftsmen alike sought out the crowds to sell whatever they could as the Aesir people danced to live music and crowded the market. 

Members of the court, as well as the palace staff, stood in perfectly accumulated rows and watched on with wonder apparent on their delighted faces at the sight of the throne room decorated for a wedding ceremony. It had been far too long since the last. 

Farrah’s entrance had been something Loki dreamed of every night since she agreed to marry him. Despite this, he was absolutely unprepared for the real thing in front of him. 

Her hair, pulled into a long braid that cascaded down her back, was kinked on the sides and closely resembled that of his mother. He spared a quick glance to her, and she returned it with a knowing smile. 

The silken dress, forest green with gold trimmings at the sleeves and hem, fell over her body like a fitted blanket. The slight curve of her hips and swell of her belly, which Loki found to be maddening during their long nights together, were evident under the fabric. 

A heavy golden cape with a high collar sat at the back of her neck and mingled with the long train of her wedding dress. Tiny jewels sparkled throughout it, matching the tiara placed atop her billowing brunette locks. 

Farrah glanced to her mother, standing at the procession on the steps. Eir was a stoic woman, never expressing grand emotions or warmth as Frigga did. So, the mere action of her bright smile and pride evident on her face caused tears to prickle at Farrah’s lashes. 

In her hands, Farrah cupped her father’s dagger. A token she would offer to Loki upon their marriage. She hadn’t known her father, as he died protecting the palace from an invasion centuries beforehand, but she knew Loki would appreciate her gifting him the last sentiment she had of her father. 

Loki, too, held his gift for Farrah in his arms as he studied her ascent up the golden stairs. The emerald necklace pulsed with his seidr delicately. Odin’s eye never left the young maiden, and though the timing was hectic for his youngest to insist a wedding ceremony, he couldn’t help the smile that upturned his lips. 

Loki glanced to Thor, once, and found he was pleasantly surprised. Thor had looked between himself and Farrah with a wide grin. When his ocean eyes caught Loki’s seaweed ones, he gave his young brother a nod of approval. 

Farrah rolled her eyes at Thor when he gave her a wink, but smiled nonetheless. Thor had become a close friend to her, a brother even. 

She was happy to be introduced to this; her new family.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part of Farrah's memories. WARNING: BRIEF MENTION OF SUICIDE (Read at your own risk)

After the wedding, after the sliver of complete content Loki and Farrah shared, their lives began a tumultuous tumble downhill. Tangled with lies and betrayal and madness, just as Loki’s heart grew colder and colder. 

She was Queen, temporarily, but it was much farther than Farrah had ever expected to go. After Thor’s banishment and Odin’s slumber, the throne was left to Loki, who seemed to accept the chaotic events in stride. 

“Loki,” Farrah spoke softly, hesitantly, for she had something to fear of him that she never had before. In their recent days together, Loki was quick to anger, quicker to lash out. He’d always had a temper, but it rarely reached her. 

The night she confronted him about his misdeeds, the night she learned of his true heritage, Loki returned to her. Broken and weeping, like a man suffering trauma at the end of a war fought bravely. She held him through the night, assuring him she would not leave him.

Because she wouldn’t, not ever. 

“Yes, my little Queen?” behind the column, in the empty corridor that led to the library, Loki pinned her anxious body against it, leaving delicate kisses along her exposed collarbone. Though his kisses were intoxicating, she felt the sudden urge to recoil from them. Something was different in the way he regarded her, now. 

“I’m, well, I had an interesting visit with Sif...and the Warrior’s Three today” his tongue halted, hands which softly cradled her hips tightened. He pulled away from her then, eyes narrowed with suspicion. 

“And why, pray tell, are you gallivanting with those bafoons behind my back?” the ire in his tone returned, a new tactic he used to keep Farrah from asking the questions he hadn’t wished her to. Despite recognizing the dying embers of fear alight in her eyes, he couldn’t settle the rage growing inside of him. 

“No, Loki, you misunderstand me,” she huffed indignantly. “They sought me out, while I read in the library” she explained hurriedly. “They’re worried for Thor, as am I” when the words tumbled from her lips, she knew the consequences would be fierce. 

Loki took a step back from her and regarded her as if she had insulted him. His brows drew together in collective fury as he glared down at her. 

“Why, darling,” the usual term of endearment he used as a weapon. “You play the part of my doting wife so well, don’t you? Even I, practiced in my lies, fell for it” Farrah blinked at him, confusion etched into her features. 

“It seems that absence truly makes the heart grow fonder” Loki sneered. 

“You accuse me of adultery, yet have no proof to back it” Farrah growled. It was the first time he had ever insinuated that she harbored feelings for his golden brother. It stung more than the strike of a whip. 

Loki’s eyes turned dark.

“Your asking after him day and night is proof enough, little Queen” he replied gravely. 

“There is no reason you’re keeping him on Midgard other than to secure your seat on the throne” Farrah spoke through clenched teeth. “If you’re willing to burn every bridge to attain it, then I’m not sure I can continue to even look at you” she turned on her heel and stormed off before Loki could utter a word. 

He sunk to the polished floor, behind the thick pillar, and listened to his heart break.

When Farrah returned to him, days later, she had found him decimating Midgard, along with his brother and her friends. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She struggled to break herself free from the restraining spell Loki had cast when she’d attempted to get through to him. She feared for Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three, for they had been subjected to Loki’s fatal destruction. 

Despite his betrayal, she feared for her husband, as well. He was slowly deteriorating from the inside, and she knew his actions would bring dire consequences. Odin’s banishment of Thor would look like a vacation when he was through with Loki. 

Suddenly, her entire form crumbled to the floor from the sheer force of her effort against the spell. The newly gifted necklace from Loki thrummed against her chest as she searched for him. Her fists were alight with her spark, and she was prepared to hurt him; to save him. 

She had gasped upon seeing the bifrost’s mechanism coated in a thick layer of ice. The device itself seemed to be spinning on overdrive. She reached out to graze her fingers over the monstrosity, but was momentarily distracted by shouts in the distance. 

Thor hammered away at the bridge, tears streaking down his cheeks. The desperation in his eyes was enough to pause Farrah in her tracks. 

“If you destroy the bridge, you’ll never see her again!” Loki shrieked with the same desperation cloaking his voice. Not even Farrah recognized him anymore. 

Thor continued on steadily, ignoring Loki’s protests behind him. Farrah noticed the cracks beginning to splinter across the ironically beautiful bridge, and took a step back. Then another. 

Moments later, she was thrown back by the sheer power that emanated from Mjolnir and the bifrost bridge clashing together. Her body, equipped with much higher pain tolerance than any other, only ached slightly when she met the other side of the bridge with a heavy grunt. 

Her eyes shot open as a cold panic settled over her bones. Thor and Loki, she was sure, would have fallen from the blast that had ripped the bridge apart. She unfolded, quickly, from her heap on the ground and dodged dust and debris to make it out onto what was left of the bifrost. 

She was greeted with a sight that caused her to heave a great, relieved sigh. Loki clutched onto Gugnir, who was attached to Thor’s hand. Holding Thor’s ankle was none other than Odin himself. She allowed her tired legs to carry her to them. 

“You fool,” Farrah quipped, dropping to her knees at the edge of the shattered bridge. Tears filled her eyes, which reflected the scattered stars surrounding them. “What were you thinking?” she asked, wincing when her voice broke. 

Loki’s face turned ghost white as his eyes darted between his father and his wife. He swallowed hard, grip on the staff tightening. “I could have done it, for all of us” he proclaimed tearfully. 

Farrah choked out a sob just as Odin whispered, “No, Loki” with disappointment evident in his hoarse voice. Thor watched closely as Loki, seeming to accept that he would never be loved by either party again, loosened his grip. 

“Loki, no..” Thor watched helplessly as his brother let go of his end of Gugnir. “No!” his heart wrenching scream was no match for the one that fell from Farrah’s lips. 

“Loki!” she leapt up, intent on diving after him into the blackness below. Odin was quick to scoop her up as he pulled Thor onto the remaining bridge. 

Farrah tried elbowing him, kicking him, anything to extricate herself from Odin while she screamed and sobbed and wailed. Thor stepped in to aid his father in keeping Farrah from jumping, following her husband in death. 

The pain she was able to cast onto others was nothing compared to what she felt as she watched Loki fall from the bifrost.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She watched his feline-like form stalk from one end of the cage to another with calculated steps. The man on the screen, she didn’t recognize. Not for the longer hair, the different shade of eyes, or the new garments. No, this man was not who she married. 

“Thor, he wouldn’t do this...he wouldn’t” Farrah insisted as all eyes fell to her. Her hands shook as they reached up to brush the tears from her eyes. 

“He did, Lady Farrah, he’s killed eighty people since he’s been here” Thor sighed. He hadn’t thought his brother could be so...evil. The facts, however, were laid out in front of him. 

“Not to be, insensitive, or anything..” the man known as Tony Stark interrupted. “But your freaky husband is, how do I say this? Completely insane” Farrah all but growled at him. 

“But he wouldn’t..” she protested weakly. “Just let me talk to him, let me get to the bottom of this” her eyes, filled with hope, met the most compassionate person in the room. Doctor Banner pursed his lips to hide the sympathetic frown that stretched across them. 

“And if we let you in there, who’s to say you won’t help him escape?” Natasha Romanoff folded her arms over her chest and daringly rose a brow at Farrah. 

She felt Thor’s heavy hand atop her shoulder, ceasing her from snapping at the young agent. “Farrah’s love for Loki does not blind her, as it does not blind me” he stated authoritatively. “I do believe she could be the only one able to extract the truth from him” he added for good measure. 

Doctor Banner let out a sigh. “Thor’s right, the only person Loki trusts right now is Farrah. We’ll watch from the screen the entire time” at his support, Tony, Natasha, and Steve Rogers ceased speaking all together. 

“Fury won’t like this,” Steve muttered as himself and Thor led Farrah to the room Loki was kept in. The back of her throat burned from the notion that whomever she would speak to was likely not the person she’d always known. 

“Lady Farrah,” Thor brought himself face to face with his sister in law and smiled sadly. “If you cannot get through to him, please know it is the fault of his and not yours” he gave her that friendly smile she was so familiar with. 

“I know, Thor,” she patted his bearded cheek with a weak smile of her own. “I just hope I can be of service” her eyes fell to Steve Rogers, who shifted his weight from foot to foot awkwardly. “Keep your director busy, this shouldn’t take too long” she nodded curtly. 

The heavy door shut behind her, signalling Loki to her presence. Though, he had already known she would come, as her necklace alerted him the moment she stepped foot onto Midgard. 

“Come to collect answers, darling?” he asked, back still turned. His voice was jagged, cold, even. She expected this, however, and she sighed dramatically. 

“Was it because I wasn’t enough?” if he would use lies to keep his plans hidden, she would seek them out with the truth. 

His head snapped up at her out of place question. He slowly turned to her, flinching when he saw how different she looked. 

Clad in her usual armor that covered her chest and shoulders, but with his symbol carved into the strong metal. Even the dress she wore under it, simple yet elegant, mirrored the color of his armor. Her hair was coiled into a low bun at the nape of her neck with pieces falling out of it, and her eyes were hauntingly solemn. 

“What?” he found, just as it had been all those years ago, that he couldn’t find the words to play her like he had with the others on this wretched planet. 

Farrah sat rigidly in the chair placed in front of his cell. “I asked them not to hurt you, Loki. If you can’t tell me anything they’ll resort to other, more painful measures..” she trailed off. The blatant honesty was a breath of fresh air for Loki. Still, he couldn’t risk her knowing anything. 

Thanos was gruesomely specific when describing how he would slaughter Farrah if Loki failed him. 

“Isn’t this pain enough?” he gestured to her, perched on the chair as if she hadn’t a care in the world. His suspicions had been correct, after the damage he caused on Asgard, Farrah wanted nothing to do with him. 

“It’s painful to see me?” she furrowed her brows in offense. 

Loki hummed. “Seeing as how you moved on from me so quickly, yes, it is quite torturous” he came to stand directly in front of her, ice blue eyes squinting at her form. 

Farrah scoffed. “You believe this is easy for me?” she stood suddenly, matching his ire with her own. “There is no light anymore, for Frigga nor I. My days are spent locked away in our rooms desperately trying to keep myself from breaking in half”.

“Thor doesn’t celebrate with his friends, the most he’ll do is venture to Heimdall and ask after his mortal. He misses you. Frigga comes to me every night in our chambers and weeps. I find myself leaning on her as much as she leans on me”.

“Odin walks to the edge of the bifrost everyday and searches the vast space for any sign of you. He has guards posted for my protection at all times in case of angry villagers wishing to exact revenge on me for the chaos you caused”.

“And you have the audacity to infer that any of this has been easy on me? That seeing you, clearly shaken to your core by fear and lashing out on innocent lives, is easy?” she bared her teeth ferally at Loki, who took a step back to assess Farrah closely. 

She had changed since he last saw her, not just her clothes or her sunken in features. 

“And what is your attempt at guilting me supposed to be, hm? You believe I will hand you the information because you’ve been in pain?” Loki barked out a laugh. “You don’t know pain, Farrah, not like I have” he accused. 

“Then tell me!” Farrah slammed her hand against the glass. It did not falter. Her chest heaved with rage that seeped from her pores. The swirling purple mist encased her body, tinged with shadows. 

“I can’t” Loki moved away from her to sit on the simple bench in his cage. 

“I love you,” Farrah insisted, eyes watching every twitch of his muscles. “I just want to know why you’re shutting me out” she rested her forehead against the glass, allowing her despair to leak out of her in a heavy stream of salty tears. Her shoulders shook with every sob for who she had lost.

His figure came to stand before her once more. She looked up to see he had pressed his hand against where hers rested feebly. He swallowed hard. 

“He will kill you, Farrah. I have to do this” Loki’s eyes, returned to their usual pond water, sought out Farrah’s gaze with a severity she hadn’t seen from him in a long time. 

“Who? Let him try” she jutted her chin up in defiance. 

“Little spitfire, your bravery far exceeds my own” he huffed, defeated.

“Tell me who’s doing this to you” her voice wavered, features softening at the fear present at the corners of his eyes. 

The door to the room burst open, Director Fury, looking eerily like Odin in that moment, glared at the two of them with his one eye. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Please tell me you’re going to appeal to my humanity” Loki smirked at Tony Stark, standing behind his bar and pouring himself a drink. He had offered Loki a drink, but he declined. 

“Not me,” Tony shrugged. His eyes met something in the distance behind Loki, causing him to defensively whirl around to the threat. “But she is” Tony called smugly as Loki watched Farrah approach him from the shadows. 

“Loki, we can still walk away from this” her eyes, glossy and red from crying, scanned his form for that clench of his jaw or twitch of his upper lip. “Come home with me, I’ll plead your case with Odin” she begged, beseeching. 

Loki closed his eyes to erase her from the equation. Of course he would still attack Midgard had she not been begging him to come home. Though, his self control was dwindling feverishly. 

Farrah came a few steps closer, hands grasping his cold ones to bring his gaze back to her. Tentatively, she brushed a loose lock of his hair out of his eyes and smiled tearfully at him. 

“I can’t, my love, you know I can’t” he persisted with the last bit of restraint he possessed. The screams from the Chitauri made her flinch against his porcelain skin, but she remained steady. 

All the while, Tony prepared the restraints to keep Loki from causing anymore damage. Without the trickster god, the Chitauri would be easier to defeat. 

“Please, Loki” she begged, trembling. “Please don’t make me do this” her lip curled into a sob. 

Loki’s stomach dropped. Before he could retaliate, Iron Man seized him from behind. A metallic lock came around Loki’s mouth, wrists, and ankles. Each time Loki made an attempt to attack, an electrical charge surged up his spine and caused dizzying pain to distract his brain. 

Farrah shook with raucous sobs as she turned away from the scene. The sound of his pained groaning from the device was enough to drive her to run away with him. But she didn’t. 

“I’m sorry, Farrah, I know you didn’t want it to come to this” Tony’s voice was garbled through the suit. She could only offer a nod. 

When Farrah, Thor and Loki finally had the Tesseract in their possession, they bid goodbye to the Avengers. No matter how Farrah had tried to attain Loki’s attention, he refused to look at her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If I am for the axe then for mercy’s sake just...swing it” Loki, spun in chains and cuffs that would suffice for a rabid Bilgesnipe, stepped forward to regard Odin with as much contempt as possible. “It’s not that I don’t love our little talks, it’s just,” he paused to match his gaze with Odin’s. “I don’t love them” he spoke evenly. 

Farrah watched on, where Frigga had long since left to spare herself the look on Loki’s face when he would receive his sentencing. 

Thor had done what he could to prepare Farrah for it, but she couldn’t help but find the entire sentencing utterly cruel. To keep him just in her reach, but ban her from seeing him. 

“Frigga and Farrah are the only reasons you’re still alive” Odin’s words struck Loki’s heart, but he refused to allow the burning tears at the back of his eyes to escape. “And you will never see them again” at this, Loki flinched. 

His eyes sought Farrah out in the crowd, and he glared. It was her to blame for their separation, for she had conspired to bring him to Odin shackled and ready to be locked away. 

She shook her head, covering her face to hide the way it crumpled. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For many months she adhered to the rules Odin had set for her. She was compliant, obedient, just as a good Lady of the court was. Her long shifts in the healing wing rivaled even her mother’s, but it was the only thing to keep her mind from straying. 

Because he was still alive, and she could live with that. 

Frigga approached her one day, as she had been waiting for her outside of the healing wing patiently. 

“My Queen,” Farrah bowed quickly. “How can I be of service to you?” she wondered. 

Frigga smiled sadly, avoiding Farrah’s gaze as she spoke in a heavily coated voice. “Loki needs you, Farrah” she murmured solemnly. “I’ve tried sending him books, being sure he’s been well cared for. Despite it all, he is cold. He blames everyone for his crimes. He won’t listen to me any longer” she explained. 

The two of them took up to strolling down the hall, so as not to look suspicious. 

“My Queen, I highly doubt Loki will listen to my reasoning, either” Farrah swallowed the lump in her throat. “He hates me for betraying his trust” she swiped at a tear that dotted her cheek. 

“Nonsense,” Frigga disagreed. “As long as I have known my son, I have known that when he is hurt, he uses anger to shield his wounds” Frigga took Farrah’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You are the only person who’s gotten so close to getting through to him. I only ask that you try once more” Frigga’s eyes, ever beseeching, searched Farrah’s for yielding. 

Finally, Farrah sighed in defeat. “Once more, M’lady” she nodded. “I cannot take anymore than that” Frigga nodded, and promptly escorted her to the dungeons. 

A brilliantly casted cloaking spell by the Queen herself left Farrah able to slip past security and into the dungeons undetected. Her fingers itched to yank her hair from its ornate plaits and scream until the lights flickered from the sound, but she remained stoic. 

Finally, as she came to stand in front of Loki’s cell, her heart plummeted. The courage she had built up was all but fodder now, and she was desperate to leave before he noticed her. 

“Well, if it isn’t my perfect little wife” she could hear the bitterness in his words, and she halted in her movement. 

“Loki..” she tested the waters, afraid of angering him further. 

Hands held behind his back, Loki casually strode to the barrier and fixed Farrah with a look of disdain. “It’s quite nice, isn’t it? The cell you put me in” his smile was anything but inviting. A chill ran down her spine. 

No, she would not fear her own husband. 

“Your scheming brought you here, Loki. I offered you protection in exchange for mere information and you outright refused” she stamped her foot like a petulant child, eyes alight with that fire Loki knew so well. 

“And why, pray tell, should I have trusted you?” he growled as he began to pace. “You used that trust against me, turned it into a tool to hurt me” he listed off. 

“And you left me at the bifrost wondering what I had done to drive you to suicide!” she silenced him with the one sentence. “We’ve both done some questionable things, but you truly left me no choice” she pointed an accusing finger at her. 

Loki swiftly turned away from her, shoulders rigid and muscles taut. 

“I suppose we’re even, then” Loki responded cooly. Farrah let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Just give me a word, a look, anything to show me the man I love is still in there” she pleaded. “Because I will level this entire realm to be with you again, I will advocate for you even when everyone else turns their backs. I love you, but only if you let go of this hatred that has burrowed inside your heart, where there is no longer room for me” she swept more tears out of her eyes to adequately watch him. 

Loki fell to his knees on the floor of his cell with a resounding thud. His eyes, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay, fell to Farrah for just a second before closing completely. 

“There will always be room for you” was the last he said before Farrah was finally caught and forced to leave his side. 

That was the last time she had seen him alive, for he had taken the guise of Odin when he returned from Svartalfheim.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farrah's falling out with Loki leads her to a mysterious place, where she is able to gain more answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who's reading this, you're simply the best. I'm so excited to introduce another original character in this chapter. BEWARE: Heartbreak lies ahead...

Loki felt the ghost of fingers crushing his windpipe. The air in the room had long since grown stale, and he feared if he watched Farrah any more closely, she’d snap. Still, with eyes delicately shut, Farrah took in a shuddering breath. 

Her lashes fluttered against the tops of her reddened cheeks, raw from the sweat and tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. She gently took her hands from Loki’s grasp and glided off the bed. Her silent footsteps took her across the room, to the window that outlooked the occupants of Sakaar.

“So, you didn’t really die on Svartalfheim, then?” her tone, Loki found impossible to detect. He searched for fluctuations, cracks, anything to indicate what she was feeling. With her back turned away from him, she was unreadable. 

“Not exactly..” Loki revealed carefully. “I had known I would be promptly returned to my cell after I no longer became of service to Thor..so I panicked” he eased himself off the bed, but did not attempt to crowd her space. 

“And did I ever cross your mind? Obviously you knew I wouldn’t have allowed you to be locked up forever, I outright told you!” she turned swiftly, gaze narrowed on him and lips stretched into a scowl. 

“Of course I thought of you, Farrah, I thought of how you’d be far better off without me” Loki argued relentlessly. “I didn’t want you to resent me, for you had every reason to..” he trailed off. 

Farrah could see plain and clear that Loki felt the gravity of his treatment towards her throughout the years spent together. Still, that did very little to quell her anger. 

“Shouldn’t you have allowed me to decide that?” she pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes and regulated her breathing as best she could. “Under the guise of Odin you watched me mourn and did absolutely nothing. Why have you so suddenly decided that you finally want to come back to me?” her eyes were accusatory, lower lip twitching with her refusal to let it tremble. 

Loki closed his eyes, heaved a deep breath that expanded his chest, and took another step to bring him closer to Farrah. 

“I should have given you the choice, yes” Loki agreed. “But please, Farrah, don’t believe for one second that watching you cry in our chambers every night didn’t break me, that hearing the rumors of you descending into madness didn’t tempt me to drop the entire facade and come to you” he gently grasped her hands in his and squeezed them affectionately. “I loved you then, I love you now, even as you do not harbor the same love you once had for me” he assured her. 

She felt as if someone had ripped the rug from beneath her feet and watched her crumple to a heap on the ground. Though her body wanted to respond instinctually to Loki’s grasp, her heart was not in it. 

She dislodged her fingers from his own, biting her lip at the knowing disappointment clouding Loki’s eyes. He did not fight her response, only accepted defeat brokenly. 

“You have to understand, Loki, that this is too much for me to bear. You told me you were my husband and that we were going to return to Asgard with no evil sister, no guards waiting to take you prisoner once we returned, and surely no lies and betrayal” her arms fell at her waist to hug herself. 

“Yesterday I was just one of Strange’s mysteries, now I’m trapped on a garbage planet with a husband with just a bit more history than he lets on and no idea what tomorrow holds. I’m sorry, Loki,” she finally gained the courage, the strength to grasp the necklace she had been deathly afraid of. The gem was warm against her palm, but did not scorch her. She unclasped it from her neck and dropped it into Loki’s trembling hands. 

“But I just can’t see myself returning to a life like that” her heart constricted at the sight of tears in Loki’s guarded eyes. His jaw was clenched so tight, Farrah wondered if he would shatter his teeth. 

He blinked once, twice, before stiffening. Suddenly, it seemed that Loki hadn’t given her any of a reaction to her statement. He allowed the necklace to vanish in his palm, then crossed the room to the kitchen to pour himself a drink. 

Farrah thought he had taken it quite well, but there was still an unexplainable gnawing at her heart that she found rather obnoxious. Why it had settled itself there, she refused to acknowledge. 

“So, you wish to be returned to Midgard once I find a way off this rock?” Loki asked evenly, as if he had not been pleading with her moments before. His back was still turned, shoulders just a bit too straight to be casual. 

“If it wouldn’t be so much to ask, yes” Farrah remained at her side of the room, eyeing the god suspiciously. “Until then, I will see about staying somewhere else during our time here” his fingers tightened over the glass, but he kept his rebuttal silent. 

If she was so insistent on being independent, he thought, he would allow her to experience the horrors of this planet. He wouldn’t allow her to be harmed, no, only to allow her fears to lead her back to him. Always selfish, but the cruelty of the situation demanded something drastic. 

“You’ll have to find the innkeeper and inquire about your own rooms,” Loki nodded and took another sip of the bitter liquid. “However, I would suggest you find a means of paying him, first, little one” he graced her with his glance, finally, and offered a smirk. 

“Payment?” she asked, successfully hiding her panic. “You didn’t have to pay for this room!” she cried indignantly. Arms crossed and brows drawn close, she resembled that of a miffed child. Loki chuckled at the sight. 

“Ah, but my dear, it was only my silvertongue which earned me this sacred space. I fear your charm does not hold a torch to my own, so you will need to acquire units for payment” Farrah knew the game he was playing at, and it caused her blood to boil. 

“So, you think I’m incapable?” she accused with a growl. “That I’ll fall right into your arms upon realizing what harsh realities await me?” she let out a scoff. “I was trapped inside of a wormhole for years, Loki, with no recollection of who I was or what I was doing there. I was starving, terrified, in pain” she listed off effortlessly. 

Loki rose a brow at this information. 

“I thought you didn’t remember your time outside reality?” he asked, head tilting to the side in question. 

Farrah paused, analyzing what she had just said. Yes, she hadn’t remembered what happened in that dark place besides what Strange had told her, but now she did. 

Cold, with no ground as far as her eyes could make out from her position. Her limbs were frozen in place, numb from the freezing temperatures. Her stomach protested, as it felt too empty to even dry heave if she had been able to move. Hot tears trickled from the corners of her eyes. 

She shivered as the memory passed over her. Too angry to seek Loki’s guidance or simply alert him of her gaining another memory, she stormed out of the suite in search of anything that would take her far away from this dreadful place. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She pushed through crowds of people who, oddly, always seemed in the midst of celebration. Civilians ranging from humanoid creatures to completely foreign aliens danced in the streets with celebratory banners sporting the Contest of Champions, whatever that was. 

Aimless wandering wouldn’t grant her units anytime soon, but she couldn’t stop herself from doing it. Her feet carried her blindly through city streets and crowds, buying her more time to configure a plan. 

A sudden brush of cold air against the back of her neck caused her to halt. The crowd she had been subtly parting was but a distant echo, leaving her alone and apprehensive of the lack of calamity. 

“Farrah” the whisper had returned, sharply this time. 

“Find us, Farrah” another floated past her ear, exposed from the braided ponytail keeping her hair from her face. 

She pulled her jacket tighter around her, but the chilling wind bit through it easily. Her teeth chattered as a fog began to settle over where she stood. Soon, she was unable to see the road in front of her. 

She squinted her eyes and held her arms out to navigate through the new and impossible weather conditions. Her heart thumped against her chest in a steady reminder of her fear, but she powered through, for she couldn’t afford to be left in this fog all night. 

Something hard and solid blocked her path, allowing a grunt to escape her as she barreled right into it. The solid object sounded hollow, her union to it echoing around her. 

The fog, though inconvenient, was not thick enough to hide the discovery. With a start, Farrah realized it was the door from before. She anxiously glanced around, to try and make out the silhouette of someone watching her. 

“In here”

“Open the door”

“Farrah” 

She visibly blanched. 

“How do you know my name?” she asked authoritatively, before her voice failed her. There was no answer, but the door stood before her; promising. 

She brushed her fingertips against the handle, finding a bloom of relief in her chest when nothing happened. She turned it, and pushed the wooden door open fully. She stood in the doorway, waiting for something to attack her or perhaps for her body to be sucked into it.

Nothing of the sort happened, but she could make out an object laying a few feet inside the mysterious room that seemed to appear out of nowhere. She sucked in a breath, closed her eyes, and stepped into the room with a burst of courage. 

The door slammed behind her, and she was plunged into complete darkness. Her breaths were coming in short pants as her fingers danced along the walls for a light switch that she wasn’t even sure was there. The chill was only magnified in this room, and she was sure she would see her breath if she could see at all. 

A flicker, a light from the darkness. Farrah watched, in horror, as she could make out hands grasping the ball of energy in the center of the room. Her eyes flitted to the object, a book, before returning to the being casting the shadows. 

“I’ve waited a very long time for you to find this place, child” a withering voice coated with something static erupted from the direction of the light. 

Farrah backed away slowly. 

“Who are you?” she whispered, afraid that if she spoke louder the creature would advance on her. 

As if answering her question, the light expanded over the room, separating darkness to the corners and giving way to the entirety of light once more. Farrah gasped, eyes wide in shock of the discovery. 

The room was, in fact, not a room at all, but a series of translucent discs on which they stood. There were no longer walls to hide the gaping darkness of where this place was. A low hum emanated from far off in the distance. 

Farrah realized, with a start, that this was the place she had been trapped in. 

“I thought, perhaps, you would instinctively know who I am considering you have dabbled with my magic” she smiled widely. “My name is Efferhild, child” she sauntered forward, and Farrah was far too fearsome to back away anymore and risk falling into this void surrounding them. 

“I..I can’t use magic” Farrah stammered. “I can barely harness the abilities I do possess” she added meekly. 

“Ah,” the woman, clad in white robes that wisped about her form as if she were some type of angel and golden hair coiled in several braids wagged her darkened finger at her. “But once upon a time, you were heartbroken and in possession of your late husband’s magic, which was used to bridge you to my own” she explained smoothly. 

Farrah strained to remember what this Efferhild was speaking about. Why would she have used Loki’s necklace to perform magic? 

“I still don’t understand” Farrah took on a more frustrated tone, hinting to her weariness and fear. Efferhild sighed, and passed the heavy book, which had previously been laying on the floor, into Farrah’s arms. 

“Of course you wouldn’t, you’ve erased all of your memories, my dear” Efferhild gave the news with shocking lightheartedness. As if the very action didn’t cause detrimental damage to Farrah’s life. 

Her heart seized, mouth soaking up the last of her saliva and going dry. “What?” her voice faltered, laced with disgust. 

Efferhild frowned sympathetically. “Truly, you’d only meant to erase your late husband’s existence in your mind, but in the midst of the incantation, something spooked you. Your lapse in judgement was enough to open a doorway with combined magic that led you here, where you suffered for three years until you were found again” at the revelation, Farrah’s eyes welled up with hot tears.

Why was gaining her memories proving to be so tear provoking? Had she been stronger before, that she could actually live through the heartache and accept it? 

“So, I did this? To myself?” Farrah questioned, disbelief etched onto her panicked features. Efferhild nodded solemnly. 

“I’m afraid so, and I am to blame for leaving such vital information to fall into the hands of one as inexperienced as you. I take full responsibility” she bowed her head in shame. 

It would have been easy to take out every emotion on this woman, who’s magic combined with Loki’s and caused catastrophe. But Farrah was not one to allow her own faults to be taken on by others, and so instead of biting off a nasty remark, she shook her head. 

“Efferhild, as much as I would like to place the blame on another, it is I who was at fault for dabbling with something I couldn’t hope to control” she sighed, tucking a strand behind her ear. “In my grief addled mind, erasing my own memories seemed to be the only answer” then, she scoffed. “Though, as fate would have it, my husband happened to be alive the entire time” Efferhild hummed.

“Yes, which only makes your case that much worse” she crossed her arms over her chest and gestured to the book with a nod of her head. “But your integrity is commendable, enough so that I hope you will consider keeping this book for yourself” at the thought of keeping the very thing that destroyed her life, Farrah scowled. 

“No offense, Efferhild, but that’s a terrible idea” Farrah thrust the book back into the woman’s arms and turned away from it. “I could cause more trouble with that book than good” she whispered, staring blankly at the vast space among them.

“I don’t believe that for a moment, child” Efferhild opened the pages to that of the very spell which had erased everything. “When you’re ready for your memories to be returned to you, all you need is to find your fetching husband and show him this spell. Between the letters, here,” Efferhild pointed to blank spaces that, upon dancing a magically charged finger upon, read out secret letters.

Farrah wasn’t sure if she even wanted her memories back at this point. 

“And what if this book falls into the wrong hands?” she questioned. 

“I have a feeling you’ll know what to do with it once you’re finished with it” Efferhild smiled knowingly. 

“And what about you? Are you trapped here? What even is this place?” she truly couldn’t stop the flow of questions once they’d started, for so many thoughts populated her head that she was unable to enact her filter. 

Efferhild handed the book back to Farrah once more and crossed the several disks until a light seemingly years away lit up the darkness like the sun ascending from the horizon. She noticed that the sudden showcasing of light was Efferhild’s doing. 

“This place is in between realities, the space between what is real and what is not” she explained without averting her gaze from the streaming light. “Once you know this, this place cannot hold you against your will” she turned with a smile.

“You prefer it here, than on Asgard where you were wanted for treason” Farrah acknowledged. 

“Precisely, now be gone”. 

Everything was white, and then Farrah found herself being jostled around as ignorant people barreled into her with no remorse and no apologies. 

 

 

 

She grunted in dismay and pushed through the growing crowd to stand by the sidewalk. Just as before she had entered the space between reality, the Sakaarians were still parading around with green face paint and banners painted with supposed champions. 

A cold, vice-like grip on her upper arm caused her to turn abruptly to her assailant. A cloud of the violet mist settled over her would be attacker, and an all too familiar voice cried out and ripped his hand away from her. 

“Loki!” she hissed, half surprised she had protected herself subconsciously and half angry that he had followed her. She was quick to stuff the book into the bag attached to her hip before Loki could notice it. 

“Where were you?” he seethed, panting from the quick burst of pain he was gifted. No matter how angry he was with her, however, he was exceedingly thankful to find that she was alright. 

Farrah’s brows furrowed. “How did you know I was gone?” how had he known of her hour away?

Loki scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest plate and licking his dry lips. “How have I known of your week of absence? Hm, let me see,” he tapped his finger over his chin a few times for sarcastic effect. “I have killed at least a dozen of these miscreants for a clue to your whereabouts, nearly blew my cover with the Grandmaster, and have exhausted nearly all of my seidr to find you” he listed off, as if measuring how much debt she was in with him already.

However, one specific sentence caught her attention. 

“A week?” her eyes widened, brows raising to her hairline. “Isn’t that quite an exaggeration?” she accused.

Loki stepped into her personal space as if he belonged there. There had been a time where his advances were welcome, but now they were questioned, obnoxious sometimes. 

“No,” he snapped, gravely. “Believe me, I’ve kept track. It has been exactly one week that you have disappeared, and I have been all over this forsaken rock in search of you” his anger stemmed from his concern, for his seidr would have found her had she been on-world. Yet, it had only worked when she returned. 

Farrah’s stomach churned uncomfortably. Efferhild hadn’t mentioned that time worked different outside of reality, even if it made sense. 

Her eyes narrowed at him, irritated with this burst of anger he was displaying towards her. She wondered, who exactly he thought he was, playing these petty games with her. 

“What, can’t take losing your own game?” she taunted bitterly. “Are you truly so angry because I didn’t need you for an entire week? That, stars forbid, I actually made it on my own” she would gracefully leave out the details, of course, just to see him squirm. 

Loki snarled, shaking his head at her dullness. 

“That has nothing to do with why I’m angry” he stuck his pointer finger in her direction. “What were you doing bounding from different worlds? Do you have any idea how incredibly dangerous that is, especially for someone so vulnerable?” he spewed offense in every which way, and Farrah backed away in disgust. 

“I’m not as vulnerable as you like to believe, and I sure as hell never asked for you to come save me” she protested indignantly. Tiny wisps of her hair tickled her cheekbones in the light breeze carried through Sakaar. 

“Well excuse me for worrying after my own wife, who I lost before and am about to lose again!” he defended with his imposing figure ever closer to her. “Can you really expect me to just turn off my feelings? Like a switch? I haven’t lost the memories, Farrah, I remember everything!” his voice seared the air around them, but still, nobody was ever the wiser. 

Unbeknownst to Farrah, Loki once again cloaked the both of them. 

She rolled her eyes, attempting to dispel the guilt which had washed over her heart like a bucket of ice water. Loki’s chest heaved with his heavy breaths, relieved and yet heartbroken. 

“I’m sorry!” Farrah suddenly adapted a tired, exasperated tone. “Okay? I’m sorry that I lost my memories, Loki, I truly am” she stared up into his swirling aqua eyes, challenging. “But I don’t know if I would ever want them back at this point, for a life tied to you would be horrendous” it was a low jab, she knew, but she just wanted to separate herself from him, too exhausted to argue further. 

Though, she immediately regretted it when, unlike before, her words actually gauged a reaction from him.

His eyes flashed with a gut wrenching sorrow, lips falling open in shocked offense. A sound akin to that of someone in excruciating pain slipped past his parted lips, and he flinched, as if she had slapped him across the face. 

Her entire body trembled, and his words rang through her head to haunt her. 

I haven’t lost the memories, I remember everything.

And how unfair had she been, to expect him to let her go as if she meant nothing to him. 

“Loki,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as he remained painfully silent. “I..Look, I didn’t mean that” she tried to capture his gaze, but now he outright refused to look at her. 

The last pieces of his heart that were held together with the hope that Farrah would return to him ripped apart, and the pain was enough to knock the breath out of him. 

He held his hand up, palm forward, to cut her off. He couldn’t stand the sympathy, now knowing exactly how she felt about him. She didn’t care, and it was like losing Frigga all over again, for now there truly was not a single soul in this universe on his side. 

“That’s quite enough, Farrah” that cold, calculated tone was back, but somehow heartbreakingly worse because his eyes betrayed his voice, filled with tears and despair. She’d remembered that look, the same one he had when he fell from the bifrost. 

“Seriously, Loki, that was terrible of me to say” Farrah tried again. “I’m sorry” she reached for him, but he took another step away to hinder her from touching him. 

He removed the unit device from around his wrist and held it out to her by one of the straps. “Take it, you’ll need the units for the innkeeper” he schooled his breathing for a moment longer, until Farrah hesitantly accepted the device, before transporting himself from the situation to break on his own. 

Farrah was left in the midst of the rowdy crowd with one thought repeating itself over and over again. 

 

 

 

/What have I done?/


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farrah attempts to make amends with Loki after she learns of Thor's capture. Loki suffers a bout of bittersweet nostalgia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY
> 
> I truly forgot about this one as I've been very caught up in my own book I've been working on for the past year. Anyway, here's chapter 9, I hope you like it.
> 
> And, once again, sorry for the wait.

Sitting in the confined walls of her new room, Farrah analyzed everything she had come to know in the past few days. Every action, every gained memory, every loss, every heartbreak, every moment wondering just how badly she had hurt her supposed husband. 

She had made a mistake, she could admit that to herself. She was unnecessarily cruel, closed minded, and downright hurtful. There were many better ways to handle a situation like that, and she had forgotten each one. 

Her fingers traced over the letters printed on the heavy spell book sitting atop her lap. So this was it, this was the abomination she’d used to cast out her memories. Had she been that grief stricken? To resort to such witchcraft to destroy her mind? 

She wondered how Loki would have reacted had she told him. Would he shout? Curse her and accuse her? Would he shut down, as he had on the city streets of Sakaar just two days before? Or, would he take it in stride, just happy to know of a way to remedy her loss of memory? 

Because once she gained her memories back, her heart would remember what love it once held for the complicated trickster god. 

She groaned and flopped onto the bed with serious force. Her body bounced on the mattress before sinking into the soft sheets. It wasn’t as extravagant as what Loki had first earned for them, but she would thank him nonetheless for gifting her all of what he had. 

He truly did love her, and she broke his heart without second thought. 

He lied to her, though! Time after time, with carelessness of her heart, her sorrow. He betrayed her trust, blamed her for his own misdeeds, and expected her to deal with the consequences. 

A life tied to him would be horrendous.

But would it truly?

She would find him, plead her case, and allow things to fall into place. If she fell for him all over again, only then would she allow him to unlock her memories. If she didn’t, if she still felt the old life waiting for her to be too much by the time they left Sakaar, she would return to Earth and continue her life there.

She stuffed the spellbook into her bag, tightened her jacket around her, brushed off her ratty jeans, and left her makeshift room in search for Loki. 

She’d attempted the suite they previously shared, and found that to be empty. Thankfully, his belongings were still there, so he had not left Sakaar without her. She half expected him to, seeing as she technically left without him for an entire week. 

She surveyed the halls around, wondering if perhaps Loki had been travelling back to his room after some business he would be attending to. Still, she continued to walk in on disgusting orgies and no signs of Loki. 

Displeasure coursed through her upon a striking thought that Loki could be in the middle of one of those horrid sexual acts himself. She was loathe to admit that it bothered her, and she silently hoped he hadn’t taken advantage of their ‘break’ on such a lawless planet. 

Her boots thudded against the metallic floors of the, well, she wasn’t sure what it was, a mansion of sorts, in search of Loki’s familiar leather costume, sharp voice, or luscious hair. 

She was positive she had been walking in circles, earning glares from foreign creatures she tried not to cringe at. On Earth, most everyone looked the same, no antennas or obscene amounts of body parts. Yet, on Sakaar, too many different species resided. It was unnerving at best. 

Farrah found the bar, familiar with it from her first day on Sakaar. She scanned the attendees, finding a face she vaguely recalled from before. The woman, with yet another bottle of liquor, hair still tied into three ponytails, skin still painted with white streaks across her face. 

She watched the woman for a few fleeting moments, unsure if perhaps she could ask her for help in finding Loki. Just as she took a step in the direction of the unoccupied seat next to the woman, she heard the jubilant shout of her name from beside her. 

She gasped, and turned quickly to find Thor waving her over eagerly from behind a set of bars. She glanced around to make sure nobody was watching her with ill intent, and stalked over to where Thor called to her. 

“Farrah, thank the norns you’re alive!” his grin of triumph was then promptly turned to an indignant frown. “Loki failed in helping me escape that stupid chair, and now I’m stuck in this contest to win my freedom” his eyes narrowed, distantly, and Farrah sighed. 

“I’ve been looking for him for hours, this planet is disgusting” she replied with a slight crinkle of her nose. “I’m truly glad to see you, though, I hoped your evil sister hadn’t killed you back in the bifrost” Farrah stood before Thor with crossed arms and brunette locks falling freely down her shoulders. 

To Thor, it almost seemed as if things had returned to what they were before. She still regarded him with that half questioning, half fond smile. He couldn’t help but feel just a bit more secure with seeing her alive. 

“Why are you wandering about by yourself? I would think Loki wouldn’t bear to let you out of his sight” Thor crossed his heavily muscled arms over his own chest to mirror her stance. 

Farrah frowned, avoiding eye contact with him. “Loki and I had a bit of a falling out, really” she admitted sheepishly. “I was originally looking for him to work things out, but I’m not comfortable leaving you locked up in a cage..” she trailed off, biting her lip as she studied the dangerous criminals inside. 

Thor shook his head. “Lady Farrah, I would rather you remain with Loki for the time being. This planet is lawless, and I can take care of myself” he grinned reassuringly. 

“Thor, you’re about to become a gladiator against your will” she pointed out, incredulous. 

“True, but I’ll be fine” someone summoning a ‘Lord of Thunder’ from behind him caused Thor great distress, and he sighed angrily at the announcer before turning to Farrah once more. “Seriously, go find Loki. He’ll be somewhere near the Grandmaster’s arena” that’s all Thor could manage before he was dragged off for the fight of his life. 

Farrah sped through halls, clambered up stairwells, and pushed past what felt like hundreds of people before she found a setting which could only be described as the Grandmaster’s arena. 

Hues of red, yellow, silver and blue decorated tables, bars and the walls within to house the elite of Sakaar. Fancy drinks were passed about by what looked to be servants, and swarms of Sakaarians dressed in fine leathers bustled about to gain a chance meeting with the Grandmaster. 

Farrah allowed her gaze to linger on what appeared to be a female with no eyes and faint facial features wearing a helmet-like headdress. Had she spotted this before, she would have been rooted to her spot for a few minutes if only to gather her thoughts. Now, she strode by after initial interest and did not look again. 

A heavily armored guard stopped her with his arm from entering through the ornate entryway, carved with runes she couldn’t hope to understand. Her eyes met a metal face plate, no hints as to what kind of face was under it. 

“I’ll need to see a verified invitation, Miss” the guard’s voice sounded electronic through the small gap his voice protruded from. An icy panic clutched at her heart at the mention of verified invitations. She hadn’t even met the Grandmaster, how was she to earn an invitation? 

“She’s with me” a smooth voice entered the conversation, familiar arm slipping around her waist. “My esteemed guest” Loki explained. The guard still seemed skeptical, but allowed her to pass without much trouble. 

Once a few steps away, Loki ripped his arm from her as if she had burned him. She couldn’t find herself to be angry at his public rejection, for she had done the same to him days earlier. 

“The contest is about to start, so I would suggest you take a seat in the back where you won’t see the gore” she studied his face as he spoke, finding it to be blank and void of emotion. His hair was neatly pulled back from his face, skin fair as it had been before. Somehow, she was slowly noticing that Loki was in no possession of physical imperfections. 

“Where are you sitting?” she inquired lamely, feeling as if she were a stubborn child loathe to be separated from her parents. 

Loki sighed. “I’m sitting with the Grandmaster” he told her with special emphasis on the fact the he, alone, would sit there. “Up front, on that couch” he pointed to a large, transparent screen that overlooked the arena. Directly in front of it sat the couch Loki was referring to. 

“Oh,” she tried not to sound too disheartened. “I was hoping you would have a moment to talk with me beforehand” she fumbled with the zipper of her jacket to distract her mind from just how awkward the situation had become. 

Loki’s eyes surveyed the room. “I really should be getting to my seat” he replied as if he’d already severed his ties with her. 

“Please” she beseeched. Another glance, to be sure the Grandmaster wasn’t present yet, and he ushered her through the crowd and into the desolate hallway. 

They passed a series of doors before Loki tested the lock on one far from the loud voices of the arena. With a little magic, the lock gave way, and they entered the room stealthily before Farrah shut the door behind them. 

Loki stood a few feet in front of her, arms crossed and face fixed with a hard gaze at the wall behind her. Farrah was so caught up in watching him, she forgot that she had been the one supposed to initiate conversation. 

Loki grew impatient. “Well, you wanted to talk” the edge to his voice caused a harsh sigh from Farrah. 

“Right,” she massaged at her temples, feeling a headache building from the amount of stress accumulating over the last few days. “I wanted to apologize about the other day” she clarified. 

“You already did” Loki retorted without sparing her a glance. His eyes now studied his fingerless leather glove. 

“Well, yes, but I would like to try again” she waited for a sign of acceptance. Loki remained silent, so she took the opportunity to push forward. “A life with you would not be horrendous, as I must have fallen in love with you for a reason” Loki scoffed. 

“You’re doing a terrible job” Loki commented. 

“I know!” Farrah exclaimed. “I can’t think of any way to make what I said right, I can’t take it back, and I know I’ve hurt you these past few days but, Loki, you’ve hurt me too” she huffed, running a hand through her hair. 

He watched on calmly, knowing she was right. Her harsh words wouldn’t even bring them close to even with all that he had done to her in the past. 

“I hate to admit it, but I do need you. Somehow we need to find a way off this planet, and we need to help Thor” she insisted.

“Ah, I see” there was a certain direction she had been attempting to bring this conversation, and it was currently slithering in the complete opposite way. “You only wish for my help to save your coveted Prince, then you wish to discard me once more” though his words were diluted with paranoid jealousy, the truth that echoed in his voice caused her heart to clench with another wave of guilt. 

“What? Loki, no” she pressed the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. “I’m apologizing to you for the same reasons you have apologized to me over the last few days. There is no ulterior motive, I would never exploit you the way others clearly have” she gestured to his wild eyes and intimidating posture. 

Loki’s heart fumbled for a moment before picking itself up once more as if nothing happened. That inconvenient and naive hope that would nudge its way into his very soul was pushed down once more, for despite her kind words, they were merely meant to placate him. 

“Darling, I can assure you, your reasoning for apologies does not mirror my own, lest you find yourself suddenly enamored with me” the backhanded comment was a low jab, to be sure, but Farrah righted herself before she allowed it to clasp at her heart.

She didn’t have the heart to disagree with him openly, so she remained silent. 

“Besides, I offered Thor a solution,” Loki scoffed. “The witless oaf shot it down, so allow him to be on his own. Let’s see just how mighty the God of Thunder is without his beloved hammer” the quip was not meant for Farrah’s ears, but settled upon them nonetheless. 

This time, Farrah did not foolishly interject to defend Thor. 

“In any case, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to inhabit this planet alone” she concluded. 

Loki rose a brow. “So the little spitfire is coming back to me?” he smirked, eliciting a flare of purple from Farrah’s clenched fists. 

“Don’t get cocky” she all but growled. 

“Fine,” Loki shrugged, as if the mere thought of having Farrah back in his presence hadn’t caused raw joy to seep through his veins. “But don’t expect companionship, why would I grow attached to something that’s about to leave, anyway?” this time was different, for as he said this he had glared right into Farrah’s startled eyes. 

She blinked back at him. “Fine” she desperately tried to give off the impression that it hadn’t bothered her. Why should it? He was absolutely right in saying they shouldn’t grow attached. Still, she felt the offense thick in her throat and swallowed hard. 

Seeing as the conversation was over, Loki gestured for Farrah to exit the room with him. A quick glance into the hallway to be sure nobody was watching them and they were off to striding down the hall and back to the Grandmaster’s arena. 

“So you’ve found your way to the Grandmaster’s good graces?” Farrah questioned into the silence. For a moment, she thought he hadn’t heard her, since he didn’t move to acknowledge her question in the slightest. 

“Yes, he’s a lunatic but even those with fraying minds can be amenable” the words sat in the air, uncomfortably, until Loki pressed forward. “I need him, for units and a means off this planet” he was finished with the conversation, so Farrah didn’t ask him of anything else. 

 

 

 

 

 

“Yes! That’s how it feels!” Farrah flinched, and it would have been visible had Loki not cloaked her before entering the Grandmaster’s arena again. He worried that if the bold and presumptuous man caught sight of her, he would get ideas.

The sorts of ideas that Loki would kill him over. 

Thor was, well, he was surviving the fight. Farrah was quite surprised to see the man from the memories Loki had shown her as the great champion she’d heard so much about. Still, she worried for the both of them. One who fought against his will and the other who fought without even knowing it. 

“I’m just a huge fan of the sport” Loki explained. 

Farrah rolled her eyes, her rear at the edge of the cushion as her hands idly played with the sleeves of her jacket. These matched were usually over when one of the fighters perished, and the thought of either Banner or Thor dying here was enough to cause her stomach to churn uncomfortably.

Loki noticed this, but comforting her was out of the question. Not only had he cloaked her so she would not be seen and didn’t want to blow her cover, but he had made it clear that he was no longer attempting to pursue her. 

No matter how badly he wanted to. 

His mind had wandered, without his consent, to the particular moment he’d known he was in love with her. It had been some time after he began courting her, far longer than it should have taken for him to notice his heart belonged to her. 

 

 

 

 

 

____  
The feasts held for warriors returning from battle were always taken seriously. Servants worked their hardest at these events, the kitchen staff strived for perfection, and the members of the court, along with the King and Queen, took great pride in planning them. 

He had just returned from Vanaheim with Thor and his warrior friends, settling the remnants of the dispute that had originally brought himself and Farrah together. 

Thor laughed boisterously over his goblet of ale, telling exaggerated stories of battle to his friends and the rest of the table. Odin and Frigga watched on from their perched positions atop their thrones, smiling at their victorious sons. 

“And I swung Mjolnir so fast, the scoundrel didn’t even see it coming!” he boasted, causing raging cheers from those at the table. 

Loki remained silent, eyes watching Farrah the entire time. An amused smirk lit up his face when she turned to him, rolling her eyes at the tales of blood and gore that Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three had delved into. 

“And where are your tales of battle, my prince?” she often used his title as a form of endearment, which caused Loki’s heart to swell and eyes to go soft. He opened his mouth to grace her with a sarcastic reply when a harsh slap on the back caused him to stiffen with a grunt. 

Thor grinned over his shoulder. “Well, Lady Farrah, you’ll be happy to know you’ve quite softened our trickster” he teased. 

“Why, yes, he’s gone from slicing throats with his swift daggers to elotting his mercy to nearly every enemy” Volstagg chimed in, a leg of some kind of meat halfway to his mouth. 

“This is why I never keep women around long enough to distract me on the battlefield,” Fandral added proudly. “Loki, ever the graceful one, was knocked unconscious after he allowed one of those wretched fiends into our defenses” though Fandral laughed, his words were not taken as a joke for Loki. 

“I was not distracted, that wild beast could have gotten past any one of you” Loki’s eyes, dangerously narrowed at Fandral, fell to each warrior at the table. Sif seemed too interested in her plate to speak up, and Hogun was never one to boast, anyway. 

“Right,” Volstagg scoffed as Fandral chuckled from beside him. “Perhaps your lack of training has finally caught up to you. Thor and I have always warned you that your swordsmanship would deteriorate lest you train as hard as we have” he gestured around to the table of friends. 

“And why, pray tell, would I train in the barbaric methods of brute force when I’m an accomplished wielder of seidr, a far more efficient method of conquering enemies” Loki spared a quick glance to Farrah, thoroughly embarrassed by the group’s jabs. It was nothing out of the ordinary for them to prod, but he didn’t appreciate them doing so in front of her. 

“Brother,” Thor chuckled. “You can’t honestly believe your tricks are as useful as Mjolnir” Loki could feel Farrah’s gaze fixate upon him. His fist clenched around his own goblet, nearly shattering the metal it was made from. 

“That’s quite enough, everyone” he was surprised to hear Farrah’s voice, clipped and challenging as she studied Thor, Fandral and Volstagg. 

Fandral snorted. “Well, Loki, I never took you as a man willing to allow your woman to fight your battles” soon after the words slipped past his lips, Fandral grunted, eyes flashing with torment. He gasped for air as he clutched the end of the table. 

“Loki doesn’t allow me to do anything, I choose my own battles, and right now I’m engaging in this one” she stood, alerting the entire table to her chilling anger. Fandral continued to splutter. “Make it known, Ladies of Asgard, that this weasel means only to use you for his carnal pleasures, as us mere women are but a distraction to his fragile ego” the room remained silent, nobody moving to stop her. 

Fandral slumped forward, a groan emanating from his spent body. 

“Volstagg, if I’m not mistaken, I’ve healed you from countless injuries, have I not?” his eyes strayed, avoiding the question. “If the amount of wounds on one’s body equates how skilled of a swordsman he is then you, my friend, are quite a lousy one” at this, Sif giggled beneath her palm. 

“And Thor,” her tone changed altogether when regarding the eldest prince. She jabbed her pointer finger in his direction. “Your mother would not react kindly to hearing you underestimate the countless centuries she has spent passing down her skills and knowledge to Loki. Shame on you” Thor glanced to his mother, and sure enough, she fixed him with a stern glare of her own.

Loki swallowed hard as Farrah aggressively took her seat once more. The banquet hall slowly began to fill with hushed whispers, which then turned to constant chatter as the outburst was slowly forgotten. Worse things had taken place during these feasts, when ale was poured freely. 

“Darling,” Loki murmured, threading his fingers through her own under the table. “I am grateful for your loyalty, but that was not necessary” he pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek, and Farrah turned to him with eyes alight. 

“Yes, it was” she insisted. “You deserve just as much gratitude for protecting Asgard as they do, no matter how you do it” she nodded curtly, assuringly. 

Loki watched her face closely, finding only genuine fierceness in its place. He grasped the back of her neck tenderly, and closed the space between them in a searing kiss.   
_____

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He loved her.

He still did. 

Even now, as her face lit up with shocking revelation to whatever was happening in the arena below. A flash of lightning caught Loki’s attention, successfully snatching him from his nostalgia. 

He fell forward in his seat, elbows against his knees and mouth slightly agape. Thor, without Mjolnir, had summoned enough lightning to send the hulk across the dirty-covered arena as if he weighed no more than a feather. 

Farrah let out a relieved sigh. 

“No, no, no” the Grandmaster muttered anxiously. In one hand, he clutched a remote. It was simple enough, with a dial on the front and in the shape of a television remote. Though, Farrah was sure it was capable of more than changing television channels. 

Thor marched forward, intent on ending the match with one final blow. As he grew closer to Banner, however, his entire body drew taut, and he fell to the ground just a few feet away, convulsing angrily. 

Farrah growled under her breath when she realized his reaction was caused by the remote she had studied previously. Before she could retaliate against the cheating bastard, Loki shot her a glare to keep her still. 

“There. That should secure your wager” the Grandmaster winked at Loki, and the action itself caused Farrah to fume. 

“Wager!” she questioned furiously. She was only just a bit satisfied by his wince, as her voice could only be heard by him. 

“Why, yes. You have my gratitude” Loki replied smoothly. He wasn’t particularly fond of the man, no, but his place in the Grandmaster’s good graces earned him many privileges. Just the day before he had gained the access codes to the ship hangar, so as to secure a means off the planet.

“I must be off to bed, my very handsome friend” the Grandmaster stood slowly from his place on the furniture. He faced Loki as he mirrored his actions. Farrah watched on, jaw set and eyes gleaming with fury. 

“I bid you a farewell, Grandmaster” Loki bowed his head ever so slightly. 

The Grandmaster crossed the rapidly emptying room. His loyal subjects had long since left at the ending of the fight to collect their units and conduct their orgies. Before he passed through the exit, he glanced over his shoulder at Loki, who watched him go rigidly. 

“If you ever find yourself...lonely in the night, you know where to find me” Farrah snorted as Loki’s face remained stoic. He nodded once more as the Grandmaster finally took his leave. 

Farrah resumed glaring at Loki when he quirked his brow in her direction. “What? It was only customary of me to bet on the fight..” he shrugged. 

“That may be so, but then why would you choose to bet against your brother?” she crossed her arms over her chest, challenging him. He found the act itself to be rather amusing. 

“Well, darling, what would be the fun in betting on the losing side?” he smirked. 

Though his inability to take the situation seriously, Farrah could only muster a sliver of indignation toward the mischievous god.


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Farrah and Loki reveal pieces of their vulnerability to each other

Farrah hesitated at the entryway to the suite. She had decided, despite Loki’s sudden disinterest, that it would be best she stayed with him throughout the night. For once, Loki agreed with Thor, she would have better chances at survival in his company. 

Loki heaved a great sigh. “What exactly are you waiting for, an invitation?” he quipped, gesturing to where she stood as a statue. “Good Lady Farrah, would you accompany me to this bed chamber?” he bowed deeply. 

“Shut up,” she growled, pushing past him with as much effort as she could muster. Against her better judgement, she smiled as Loki barked out a genuine laugh. 

The bed had been made and was practically waiting for her. She was eager to settle her aching bones against the plush blankets settled upon the soft mattress. All the stress from the last week had caused her muscles to coil uncomfortably, and she longed to allow them to relax in the night. 

Loki shuffled about his side of the bed in what Farrah guessed to be him preparing himself for sleep. Since their conversation earlier in the day, Loki had been positively blank with her. His eyes no longer held that profound hope she would catch in them, and he no longer attempted to cure her of her memory loss or converse with her at any given moment. 

Still, his sarcasm was insufferable. 

Farrah glanced to Loki, just to be sure he was not intently watching her, and slipped her satchel beneath her side of the bed. The last thing she wanted was Loki to find the spell book. Even in this new detached state, she knew it would hurt him. 

“Need I remind you of the rules?” Farrah grumbled once she found herself lying next to him, arms at her sides and chest rising and falling languidly. She heard him snort, but did not turn her head to look at him.

“How quaint, that you feel you can make rules in a bed that isn’t yours” he replied, turning his back to her immediately. She winced at the harsh reality of his words, but was well aware that he would remain at his side of the bed as she had asked him too. 

She could hear her heart, rampant in her chest, as she forced her eyes closed. Every night, it was as if her heart would kickstart into overdrive. She found solace in knowing that it would cease its rapid beating when she fell into slumber. 

She focused on the steady breaths emanating from the man beside her. It was soothing in the least, and she was grateful that she had company, even if said company was being an ass. 

Slowly, her body succumbed to the exhaustion she had been feeling from the seemingly endless nights of little sleep prior to this one. 

 

 

 

“Farrah,” it was at the corners of her conscious mind, close but out of reach. She attempted to lift her arms to the sound, grasp it, but the icy panic she was so familiar with sank its teeth into her chest when she realized she couldn’t move. 

“Farrah, wake up” the voice, that’s what it had been, grew heavy with concern. She felt fingers coiled around her arm, another cradling her head. Darkness swept her up in its cold embrace, in an attempt to bring her from the gentle touches she could just slightly feel. 

Her hands clenched some sort of fabric beneath her, nails puncturing it with the effort behind her grip. Her legs were strained so far that the muscles screamed in agony from the assault. She attempted to move her head, but could not find her mind willing it to adhere to its commands. 

Her eyes flew open, hazel orbs meeting a pair of wavering green ones. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

She pushed the figure off of her, struggling to sit up so she could welcome the oxygen into her lungs. It did not come easy, and she found herself hyperventilating as the lack of air startled her. 

Hands grasped her shoulders, and the eyes were back as they peered into her very soul. The touch was grounding, but not nearly enough to instill the act of breath into her once more. Tears stung at her eyes and blurred her vision as the coil in her stomach tightened and threatened to release with a bout of vomit. 

But she couldn’t breathe. That was the bottom line. In the back of her mind, she knew she had to slow down, allow the panic to wash over her so she could regain control of her spasming diaphragm. 

But no, she couldn’t breathe, and her instincts overcame her valid thoughts. Suck in as much as she could as fast as she could until it was enough to soothe her. 

“Farrah,” it was Loki. Loki was holding her, watching her, speaking to her. She could discern the worry in his furrowed brows, the panic in his voice. “Stop and breathe. Control it” he insisted whilst squeezing her shoulders.

The constant fluttering of her chest made her groan in discomfort. She feared that her heart would explode inside of her as it began to throb. The tears now slid effortlessly down her reddened cheeks as she continued to splutter. 

“I..I can’t” finally, words tumbled from her lips in a choked wheeze. A brush against her temple, and a rush of warmth enveloped her trembling form. 

She felt the burn of her mist waging a war inside of her. It clawed at its confines, wanting to be set free against the foreign magic that seeped into her pores. However, her hands were so tightly wound into the sheets beneath her that the mist could not spread throughout the room. 

Farrah sucked in a mighty breath, relief flooding through her at the sudden break. Oxygen filled her lungs in one large gulp of air, chest expanded to its capacity, and left her in a long sigh. 

“In through your nose, nice and deep” Loki instructed. The fog in her mind relented, and she no longer felt as if she would pass out. Her limbs still trembled, and she could feel her heart pounding in her head, but the worst was over. “Now let it out through your mouth” he commanded gently. 

Farrah obliged, and found herself to be calming substantially. Whatever spell Loki had placed upon her had made her increasingly exhausted. Had he not been grasping onto her shoulders, she was sure she would have crumpled against the bed frame. 

“What was that?” she murmured weakly. Her hand shakily came to rub at her temple, where a headache was beginning to form. A press from Loki’s fingertips chased the dull ache away before it could fully culminate. 

“Panic attack, you suffered from them on Asgard every once in a while” Loki informed her, voice still soft as he regarded her. “Your mother could never find why you were plagued with them, and so she had tasked me in aiding you with them when we began courting” he allowed his fingers to brush against her cheekbone. 

Farrah blinked, too inebriated to mind his lingering caresses. Though, he had spiked her curiosity. 

“Is my mother still alive?” she inquired nervously. In her heart she knew the answer, it was yet another reason to cut ties with the Asgardians. For, if there was a slight chance of returning to her mother, Loki and Thor would have been adamant on it. 

“No, I’m afraid not” Loki’s fingers drifted down her arm and interlaced with her own hand. It still shook with the aftershocks of her panic attack. “She grew ill, and perished before the attack of the Dark Elves” he swallowed thickly and studied Farrah’s face for grief. 

Since she had not remembered her mother, she could not recall the despair from losing her mother and husband so suddenly. All she could do was furrow her brows in confusion. 

“Dark Elves?” she questioned. At this, Loki averted her inquisitive gaze. 

“The vile beings that wreaked havoc on Asgard around the time you visited me in my cell” he told her, wincing as the next sentence fell before them. “The ones who killed my mother” his hateful sneer faltered, leaving a hollow shell in its wake. 

He felt a gentle squeeze, and looked down at their intertwined fingers. 

“Did she like me?” Farrah attempted to coax Loki from his somber mood by distracting his mind. She was pleased when a wistful smile captured his lips and his gaze fell to her face once more. 

“When we first began courting? Yes, she was jovial that I had found a maid to keep my attention” he let a small chuckle pass his lips. “She particularly enjoyed your assertiveness with me, how you weren’t afraid to challenge me. There were many times that you would do so in front of her, and she would watch in amusement as I would slowly bend to your will” he explained, echoes of joy passing over his features. 

Farrah was disappointed when, after a moment of peace, Loki’s smile fell once more. 

“I ruined everything” he muttered. 

“Loki,” Farrah began, tone sympathizing, but he glared at her to cease her from speaking. 

“I pushed you away countless times, drove you to near suicide with my reckless actions” he slipped his hand from hers and used it to comb through his mussed hair. “I allowed my mother to be slaughtered in the very palace I was being kept in, practically led that monster to her” he seethed. 

Farrah had only recognized that self hatred before, in the memories shown to her, and yet here it was, back to command control over Loki once more. 

“Yes, you’ve made mistakes” Farrah acknowledged. “But you cannot blame yourself for my actions, or for the actions of others” she pointed out. Loki shook his head. 

“I wish not to conduct this conversation now, if that’s alright” he adjusted himself so that he was no longer sitting in front of her, but beside her. “It’s important that we get back to sleep, as I have a feeling Thor will be causing a great disruption soon and I’ll need us both prepared for it” he commented dryly. 

He had shown her a glimpse of his vulnerability, and then quickly snatched it away. She wondered if he had always done that with her, or if he confided in her regularly. 

Farrah eased herself back under the covers, pulling them up to her chin. The pang of guilt in her heart could not be tamed as she replayed the previous events in her head. 

He could have merely left her to her defenses, grown angry at her for rousing him, even. Yet, he comforted her, even after warning her of his detachment beforehand. A detachment that sparked from her rejection. 

She forcibly settled her thoughts and turned on her side, her back to Loki as he shifted himself to a comfortable position on his stomach. 

“Thank you,” she spoke into the cool air of the room. Many silent moments passed, and she thought he might have already fallen asleep. 

Just as her eyelids grew too heavy to stay open, she heard the faint whisper of his voice against the faint ruckus of Sakaar. 

“You’re welcome, my love” and she was fast asleep. 

 

 

 

She woke with a start, as if someone had suddenly entered the room and yelled in her ear. In her sleep addled state, she rolled clean off the bed and onto the hard floor with a pathetic groan. Though, when her name was uttered once more, she urgently picked herself from the floor and came to stand on the other side of the bed with a disgruntled looking Loki.

“Finally,” he hissed with a harsh glare. Farrah attempted to clear her blurred vision by rubbing at her eyes, but found that it made everything worse. She grumbled under her breath, far too tired for a real protest. 

“Have you been sleeping this entire day?” he asked incredulously. When the only answer he received was a shrug, he rolled his eyes. “That’s besides the point. I need your help” this new bit of information sobered Farrah quickly. 

“Wait, wait wait,” her voice was practically giddy. “You need my help? Me?” she questioned with a knowing smile. “What exactly have you been up to?” she snickered, knowing full well it would only irritate him further. 

“I’ll have you know my idiot brother is at fault for this” he grumbled, arms crossed. He flickered, then, and Farrah’s eyes widened because she was positive he’d never flickered before. 

“Are you...are you even here?” she stuttered exasperatedly. 

“No, I’m currently chained to a chair” he deadpanned. His expression was bored, and he waited for her full attention before continuing. “I’m in the building in room 347, I need you to release me” he told her this as if the entire situation was a mere inconvenience. 

Farrah panicked. 

“What! Release you? Who chained you to the chair? Why? What if they come back while I’m breaking you out? How can you be so calm when you’re being held hostage?” the words oozed from her mouth as her mind spun with likely scenarios. 

Loki merely waited for her to finish.

“Do you believe me so dim witted that I would have you be captured along with me?” he narrowed his eyes at her as she frivolously tucked her curled locks into a bun at the back of her neck. She snatched her jacket from atop one of the bar stools as Loki’s illusion watched her curiously. 

“No!” she quickly defended herself with a scowl. “I’m just nervous, alright?” she grouched, slipping her arms through the sleeves of her jacket. 

Loki couldn’t help but watch, an amused smile playing at his lips. Despite the rule he’d set for himself, not allowing himself to get attached, he still couldn’t help but watch her in awe. Her graceful movements despite her nerves, her furrowed brow giving way to worry lines, eyes focused on the task at hand. 

She didn’t know how powerful she truly was, and he yearned to be able to truly show her. Help her find the reflexes long forgotten. 

“Come now, otherwise she’ll return during our escape” Loki found himself saying as he ceased his inner turmoil from bubbling to the surface. Farrah sighed irritatedly and grabbed her bag to sling it over her shoulder. 

The painful fact that the book was still inside caused her to momentarily panic, since she couldn’t necessarily stuff it under the bed while he was watching, so she had to hope he wouldn’t snoop. 

Loki definitely seemed the type to snoop.

“On my way” she called over her shoulder, then slammed the door. 

 

 

 

The looming door sat heavy in front of her as Farrah double-triple checked the hall for anyone coming. Loki had said the person who had captured him was female, so she kept her eyes keenly aware of every feminine face that exited the neighboring rooms. 

“You didn’t exactly tell me how I was supposed to get in,” she huffed to herself, not exactly expecting an answer. Just as she began to inspect the door for a way to break the lock, the door popped open smoothly.

Farrah peeked inside to be sure it was Loki who had broken the lock and nobody else. Sure enough, there he sat, a smug smile placed in the middle of the room in a chair with rows of chains wrapped around him. 

Farrah snickered and shut the door behind her. She stood in front of him, arms folded across her chest, and studied his blissful features. 

“Well?” he prompted with brows raising to his hairline. 

“Ask nicely” Farrah replied petulantly. She enjoyed teasing him, finding it to fill her with warmth at the idea that she amused him. 

She wanted to kick herself, for being fond over him. 

“Help. Please” it wasn’t a question, and his gaze wasn’t pleading. She knew that was the best she could get from the self righteous God, so she went to work unclasping the chains. 

“So, if you could break the lock why couldn’t you unravel these?” Farrah asked nonchalantly as she pulled another string of chain from his torso. Perhaps his magic was growing weak, perhaps the chain was made of a magic-proof metal. 

“I just wanted you to fret over me” he grinned cheekily. Farrah stared wide eyed and mouth agape at him as he continued the wide, toothless smile in her direction. 

She stood straight, back rigid as she fixed him with a glare that mirrored her annoyance. “Seriously? What is wrong with you?” she recoiled, taking two steps away from him. Her purpose had been fulfilled, why wouldn’t she just leave now?

“Come now, it was merely a jest” he stood, allowing the chains to fall to his feet with a resounding clank. “Besides, it was refreshing to see you worry for my wellbeing” he shrugged. 

“I thought you no longer entertained the thought of us together” she protested weakly, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Oh, I don’t” Loki assured her, false bravado in place. “I hardly believe you can handle me, darling” he mocked her blatantly. She opened her mouth to protest, but snapped her lips shut when Loki dangled the emerald necklace in front of her. 

“I gave that back to you” she stated. Loki scoffed, coming to stand very close to her. Their proximity caused her eyes to flicker anywhere but his own, skin itching to run and barricade herself in a corner. 

“Clearly,” his voice took a hard edge. “This necklace tracks your movements so I can know when you’re in distress and can find you. I suggest you take it while I’m still offering you protection” he still held it outstretched for her to take, but she remained still. 

“That thing has tracked my movements this whole time?” she gaped incredulously. 

“Not after you took it off, obviously” he snarkily added. 

“I took it off because it’s clearly a symbol of your dominance over me!” she hastily exclaimed. The gesture had escalated rather quickly, and now Farrah was well and truly angry with Loki. 

“That is not what this is” Loki insisted, terrifyingly calm. “It was a symbol of our union together, a gift from our wedding night. I am only returning it to you now so I can protect you” he spoke through gritted teeth. 

Farrah swallowed thickly, opting to remain silent. 

Loki turned his back to her, swiping a hand through his hair aggressively to ground himself. This infuriating woman that he was in love with would be his demise. 

“You always assume the worst of me, Farrah, and maybe you should” when he turned to her, once more, his face was devoid of emotion. “But I wouldn’t allow any harm to come to you, I haven’t so far and I won’t in the future. Your being here is proof enough of that” that was the conclusion, as the door swinging open halted the argument. 

There stood Loki’s captor. The woman whom Farrah found to be oddly intriguing. She was accompanied by Thor and Doctor Banner, who had abandoned his destructive green form for his human one….


End file.
